December 12th, 2008
I feel a little like I was just run over by a car. I survived finals, though I fear I will be repeating math. (BOO!) I would love to see if my teacher has posted our grades, but there’s a bloody hold on my grades and registration. I paid the fee and they still haven’t fucking removed the hold. BAH! I’ve been working on getting it fixed all week. It CANNOT be this complicated. Not that it matters, I’m sure my asshole teacher hasn’t posted our grades yet. When I turned in my final he handed me the last two tests. That would have been helpful information before taking the final. It also would have been helpful if he had taught the information on the goddamn final. But I suppose that’s asking too much, huh?
My grandma is in the hospital. I went by after work and spent a few hours with her, kept her company until she was moved her from the ER to a room. She was really sweet and asked me all sorts of questions about my man. I had a nice time visiting with her; I only wish it were under better circumstances. She’ll probably be in the hospital until the weekend. Tomorrow they’re going to do an endoscopy so hopefully we’ll know more. Please keep my grams in your thoughts and prayers.
Categories:getting my learn on, my dysfunctional family is better than yours
Tagged:
December 4th, 2008
Twice in the past week I’ve thrown up all over myself at school. I realize that I live in a state owned by the Mormons, but for the loveoffuckinggod, is it too much to ask that they keep their fucking religion away from my education?
(Yes. It is too much to ask.)
I was sitting next to two nineteen-year-old boys talking about their mission calls…
“I go into the MTC (mission training center) one day after Obama goes into office.”
“You are a lucky man.”
“Yeah, I’m happy to be out of this country for two years while he’s in office.”
“No kidding. I pray I’ll be so lucky, to get a mission call out of country. I DO NOT TRUST THAT MAN.”
I would like to know what these fucking BABIES actually know about Obama, beyond what their parents and church leaders have frightened them with. It scares the shit out of me to be surrounded by a bunch of thoughtless lemmings.
Last night one of my classmates gave a presentation on death (which was relevant to class material – psychology through the years). I could tell the presenter worked very hard, but the tone in his voice made me cringe: it was the soft, spiritual tone that I am very familiar with; thanks to the 19 years of time I did in the cult that tries to pass as a religion.
He related an account of a friend whose father worked in the church educational system for his entire career; this man became close with many (modern day) prophets and apostles. When he was in the hospital dying from cancer, the prophet and apostles came to visit him. After one came to give him a blessing, he pulled the man’s adult daughter aside to comfort her. She asked the man of God why her father was dying of cancer. What did her kind-hearted father do to deserve this? He responded, “God has many ways of bringing his children home.”
Then I threw up all over my desk.
I fucking HATE that shit. No one likes going to funerals, no one wants to lose loved ones, but that is my least favorite things about funerals: the “he/she is in a better place” bullshit. FUCK THAT. Who’s to say they’re in a better place? I’d like for there to be something beyond this world, but who’s to fucking say if there is anything? Is this discussion appropriate in a public school?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCK.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdJ4oVnujbA&hl=en&fs=1]
I don’t remember where I found this, but everyone should watch it, especially every single person who supported Prop 8.
Categories:Childhood Cult, OH MY HORRORS, Overheard, Uncategorized, Utahrds, getting my learn on, if anyone needs me I'll be drinking in my closet, lemmings, obviously crazy to leave the bay area, weeeeeee
Tagged:
December 1st, 2008
Last night I met my boyfriend’s dad and step-mom (who were both great, in case you were wondering); she asked what I find weird about living in Utah. There is weird shit everywhere. I’m like the kid from the Sixth Sense, only I see religious oddities instead of dead people. I’m beginning to envy him….
True joy is being able to find greeting cards, specific to “The one and only true church” (VOMIT) in your grocery store. I love picking up religious fucking greeting cards with my groceries. Who doesn’t need a good Priesthood/Superman card, or a true super hero (missionary) greeting? I would trade them all to be able to pick up a bottle of booze in the grocery store.
Moo?
During a walk through downtown SLC we ran across Safety Cow. It’s quite interesting (be it strange) to have a cow perched atop a streetlight. Too bad Utahrds could give a fuck about traffic laws. Why should they? They all have God on their side! A few minutes before this picture was taken a douchebag ACCELERATED at us, with 14 feet of cross walk left. The assclown was eating fast food when he literally cut us off. My boyfriend was talking to his mother (on his cell), and it took all of my self control to only yell, “NICE!” while giving the asshole double middle fingers. It’s a good thing I didn’t have anything in my hands because I would have launched it at him.
All natural COW PIES?! Are you fucking kidding me? I realize they’re trying to be funny (?) and I’m all for poop jokes, but is it really necessary to name your pie company after shit?! “Who wants fecal pie?! Nom, nom, NOM!”
Categories:Assholes, OH MY HORRORS, Uncategorized, Utahrds, Vomit
Tagged:
November 26th, 2008
- Falling in love is fucking fantastic!
- I’m not trying to make y’all puke rainbows or anything, but I had NO idea it was even possible to find reciprocal love of this level.
- Though it does not encourage writing material, which is preferable to bullshit drama.
- The holidays are upon us, so I will soon have family drama to rely on for writing inspiration.
- My BFF and her husband are coming to visit the day after Christmas. I’m excited because this is their first time to visit Utah.
- Immediately after they made their travel arrangements, my older sister decided she and her husband would come with their gajillion kids during the exact same time.
- I have yet to tell my sister that I won’t be around much during her visit…which is sure to go over fucking swell.
- I cannot wait to sleep in for a few days.
- My niece clobbered my face with “big baby” yesterday when I wasn’t looking…and now I have a freaking bump on my nose. JOY!
- I desperately need an algebra boost before my final, but I’m pissed my teacher offered it during the bloody holiday weekend.
- I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do for Christmas gifts…except that I will be making every single gift.
Categories:I've had better mornings, my dysfunctional family is better than yours, puking rainbows
Tagged:
November 20th, 2008
- Ask which phone number is best to reach me.
- Disregard the phone number I give you, leave a vague message on my parent’s home voicemail about “test results” that prompts my mother to email me with the clinic phone number.
- When I call for my test results, repeat my name and “PAP” loudly so that everyone in the waiting room can share the joy that is a normal pap smear.
Categories:Uncategorized
Tagged:
November 13th, 2008
My sister and I are so different I’ve often wondered how we came out of the same vagina. I’ve had thirty-two years to ponder our differences and hope that one day, she will accept me. I’m beginning to realize, this is not a very realistic hope.
It hurts my feelings that she is incapable of expressing happiness or support for anything that is not directly in line with her own beliefs. When she calls me to talk about her new church calling, or her daughter’s baptism, I support her. I don’t say, “BAPTISM?! Pshaw! You’re having your kid baptized into that cult founded by the pedophile, sex offender, douchebag?!”
I treat her as I would like to be treated. I support her. It’s called the motherfucking Golden Rule! And I wish she would apply it to her own life.
I’m sick of double standards. So what if I’m making decisions that don’t line up with her religious beliefs? My decisions are MY OWN! They don’t line up with my parents’ beliefs either, yet they manage to love and accept me, as I am. When I tell my mother I’m planning a gang bang she replies, “That’s nice. I’m sure it will be lovely, dear. I’m happy that you’re happy.” I’d appreciate a similar response from my sister instead of a flat, unsupportive statement.
Categories:Childhood Cult, it's called sarcasm, my dysfunctional family is better than yours
Tagged:
November 11th, 2008
I just got mad dogged by a girl in the study lab because I couldn’t stop laughing when I opened this.
nataliedee.com
I have so much school work to do I’m not really sure where to start. So, naturally, I’m doing what any good procrastinator does: I’m looking through Natalie Dee’s archives.
I’m pretty sure I’ll die if I don’t buy this t-shirt.
Categories:Uncategorized
Tagged:
November 5th, 2008
I am overjoyed with the election of our new president, but saddened with the passing of hate fueled Proposition 8 in California. I am supremely disappointed and angry with the Mormon church’s funding of the proposition to end same sex marriage.
Since when are hate and bigotry Christian values? Way to go your frightened lemmings! My LGBT friends deserve the same rights as any other citizen. It’s strange that we’ve managed to elect a black president and spit in the face of progress, all at once. I’m not much for prayer, but I pray that the hope of our new president will flow into civil rights and this wrong will be corrected.
Categories:Uncategorized
Tagged:
November 4th, 2008
Am I the only one who is sick and tired of election bullshit? My irritation does not come from lack of concern: I am tired of hearing that my viewpoint is incorrect because I am not in line with the majority of this state.
Oddly enough, the following exchange with my mother cheered me up.
Me: I had an Obama t-shirt (short sleeve, gray t-shirt) around the house, I seem to have misplaced. Have you seen it?
Mum: I haven’t seen an Obama shirt, unless it’s the one I burned in the backyard yesterday?
Categories:Uncategorized
Tagged:
October 27th, 2008
Why does falling for someone attract creepy weirdos? I think it has to do with super charged neurotransmitters going bonkers inside of our brains that make us produce ridiculous amounts of pheromones. Whatever the reason, it’s fucking annoying.
On Friday night I was at a street light, en route to my new mister’s house. While looking for something in my glove compartment, I felt someone staring at me. I gave a cursory glance to my right and continued looking ahead. The light turned green, I turned left, and he continued straight. One block later, I felt his psychotic gaze and looked over to see his car swerving up to mine. The fucker had sped around a number of blocks to pull up next to me. He rolled down his window and was looking at me like a cartoon character fantasizing about busily slicing carrots into a boiling cauldron containing a large rabbit.
I rolled my window down, held one finger, ignored his chatter, and yelled, “FUCKING! NO!” and told him I have a boyfriend.
The d-bag had the nerve to ask, “What? You don’t have room for two boyfriends?”
“NO! I do not.”
“Well, that makes your boyfriend a very lucky man. Are you sure you don’t have room for another.”
“I’m on my way to his house right now and you better stop fucking following me unless you want him to rearrange your fucking face.”
What gives? I can’t decide if I should start carrying a bat, mace, or both.
Categories:Meow, don't go away mad just go away, stalker
Tagged:
