Pants, pants, PANTS! » where’s my medicine?

Stress Fest!

Pants — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:48:26 +0000

After an hour of discussing shit-loads of wedding planning details, the conversation turned to tables and chairs. The discussion was going NOWHERE. All I could think about was trying to get home in time to go swimming with Mike (which I wasn’t able to do). I finally burst out, “I could care less where people sit. For all I care they can eat off my ASS.” My mother replied, “Well then, your ass better be clean.” I think my mom is pretty awesome.

I Thrive on Anxiety, NOT

Pants — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 23:24:52 +0000

My parents are on Facebook and it freaks me out. I don’t have any links between this website and Facebook so I still have a place where I can speak openly, but I still feel WEIRD.

It’s been a while since my mother entered the world of Facebook. I knew she was using (HA, HA) because she kept mentioning it in when I was around without specifically asking me why we weren’t friends because that’s how my family rolls: dysfunctional!

After months of ignoring passive aggressive Facebook chatter, this morning I received a friend request from my dad. He and I have always had a different relationship than my mother and I and it took me about two seconds before deciding to accept his request. I feel a little bad. This isn’t exactly news since I make feeling bad a hobby. HELL, I’m a damned professional! I don’t know if it is from my religious upbringing or my middle-child-ness, but if I were a super hero my power would likely be GUILT.

So now I feel like I should go through my Facebook crap and clean things out so as not to offend my parents, which is how I rationalized not being connected to them on there before, but I don’t want to have to watch who I am or pretend I’m something I’m not. I’m the foul-mouthed middle child who posts suggestive pictures of myself with Brigham Young statues or makes vomit hand signals while holding a Holy Temple book in the middle of the LDS section of the local bookstore. I also rant and rave about weirdness and living in Utah gives me PLENTY to rant about.

How many of you are connected to your parents on social networking websites? Am I the only one experiencing parental anxiety? HELP!

Performance Evaluation

Pants — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 17:22:32 +0000

I have been feeling ridiculously good. I think it’s due to the exercise kick my sister and I started. (Can you say endorphin high?) To the point where for like ENTIRE 8 minute stretches I don’t even feel like cutting myself or huddling myself up in a corner to cry over realizations of family dysfunction! I walked more than 10 miles within two days! Moaned my way through downtown Salt Lake City with fellow zombie enthusiasts! Life IS within reach. I won’t be living here FOREVER. Only one year before I can apply to nursing school!

Then came Monday. FUCK MONDAY. Seriously.

Here’s hoping the rest of the week feels twenty-hundred times better than yesterday.

Tidbit

Pants — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 22:01:00 +0000

Just because you take a muscle relaxant and you feel like a noodle, doesn’t make it OK to tell your mother about the guy you dated who only had one ball. And the silence following your disclosure does not get more comfortable when you babble incessantly about the one-baller.

I Can’t Help Myself

Pants — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 17:49:00 +0000

I am addicted to creating motivational posters.