Entries Tagged as 'Vomit'
A father was holding his newborn baby while his wife tried on clothes (with their toddler) in the dressing room next to me.
The wife asked, “Honey, do you like? I think this is really cute.”
The husband dickhead replied, “Maybe with five more. It’s just like we were talking about before. If you weren’t so L-A-Z-Y with your E-A-T-I-N-G, it would fit.”
I quietly said, “Un-fucking-believable. What an asshole.”
I wish I had loudly said, “Spelling L-A-Z-Y might save your K-I-D-S from realizing what a P-R-I-C-K you are but it does nothing for the rest of us.”
Categories:Overheard, Vomit
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Hey Lady,
I like to stretch at the end of my workout just as much as the next person, but I have enough forethought to do so without horrifying others. It wouldn’t be so bad that you wear “vintage” spandex if you could wear a pair of motherfucking underwear. The threadbare inner thigh of your 1980s spandex stretch pants have become the bane of my existence.
I situate myself within the gym in such a way to keep you out of my direct line of sight. But I am still tormented. Personally, I could not imagine exercising without underwear. It seems wrong on many levels. Horrific, actually. No one wants to see your giant beaver. And you’re not the only one who uses that mat. As someone who has battled with mild paranoia surrounding germs, it makes me cry inside when you stretch yourself all over that mat with your threadbare spandex. I don’t even know where to begin with your spread eagle wall squats.
For the love of God and all that is sanitary, WEAR SOME DAMN UNDERWEAR!
Throwing up in my mouth,
Pants
Categories:Vomit
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