“You ruined my chances with a woman.”
“Like a woman you were on a date with?”
(Insert vague reference using the words “woman” and “house.”)
“Well, that’s weird since we haven’t even met. How exactly did I ruin your chances?”
“She saw your picture on my computer-”
“Stop the bus! Did you just say she saw my picture on your computer?”
“Yeah.”
“Which one?”
“The cute one, with the GOOD GIRL knuckles.”
“You are SO my new stalker! We haven’t even met and you’re using pictures from my dating profile as your desktop background?”
“It makes me smile.”
“I hope you didn’t let her see the creepy stalker shrine you must be building.”
“Of course not.”
“Did you light a candle before you called me?”
(Silence)
