Entries Tagged as 'Meow'
Jack Jack is so interested in everything I do; he likes me, he really likes me! I am considering submitting this group of incredibly awesome, high quality, barely pathetic self-portrait + cat series photos to an art gallery. Any title suggestions? So far I’ve come up with…
A Thirty-Something and Her Cat
Not So Lonely After All
Algebra: Not Just For Humans
My Cat is Better Than Your Human Baby
The next step is for us to have photographs taken at Olan Mills. Which, curiously, I’ve decided is my dream date! Though my dream date will be with a human, not a feline. (I hope.)
1. Begin with shopping trip to D.I. (Mormon Goodwill) for some fine-ass new clothes.
2. Rush off to a portrait sitting at Olan Mills (or comparable photo studio).
3. Walk through Temple Square holding hands and sipping from the same flask.
4. Frozen yogurt.
5. Make out in remote, picturesque, area where teenagers (or thirty-something women who move home) escape their parents.
Though I realize this would be more satisfying (and likely) with my BFF, Stephanie. Hopefully we can do this at the end of the month when I go to visit! I know her husband wouldn’t object…he likes me and he hardly likes anybody (SCORE ME!).
Categories:friends, if anyone needs me I'll be drinking in my closet, jack jack, Meow, mid-thirties teenage angst, things I'd rather do than homework
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http://icanhascheezburger.com/ is like feline porn for Jack Jack.
Categories:jack jack, Meow
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My next door neighbor’s (stray) cat (she bought a tent for and has been feeding for years) was attacked and killed by two foxes.
I would be heartbroken if I lost Jack Jack…even though I yelled “YOU’RE FIRED!” at 6:00am when he knocked water off my nightstand, trying to paw my ChapStick®. Poor little fucker was passed out on the couch when I left for the day. It is hard work harassing your loved ones all night long!
Categories:cobwebs in my privates?, I've had better mornings, jack jack, Meow
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Looks like I’ve lost my robe to the cat who lets me live in his house.
Categories:jack jack, Meow
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- Why am I receiving advertisements about my cat’s health?
- How do they even know I own a cat?
- Are they spying on me at home?
- If so, have they seen the all-you-can-eat cat food buffet that my parents have implemented?
- Was this email prompted by concern for his kitty BMI after they saw how his belly jiggles when he moves (or breathes)?
- Have they assumed that since I am thirty-two and single that I’ve started amassing my army of cats?
- How many cats to I have to own before they personalize this character with my face?
Categories:Meow
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Wake me up at 4:00AM. Don’t just meow or bite my hand like you normally do…knock a liter of very cold, snow-run-off water all over me, my bed, night stand, floor and into my favorite handbag. Try to jump into my arms as I dump the water out of my handbag and frantically wipe off my cell phone. Then cry, rub yourself on my legs while I rush to the bathroom for towels and fucking “MEOW!” like a little bitch because you know I’m about to turn you into a dumpling.
Categories:jack jack, Meow
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Me: “Mom, I think you should know that Mister Jackles is a very naughty cat. He ate all of the Halloween candy.”
Mom: “Is that so?”
Me: “Yup. He continued to binge on it, even after you attempted to “hide” it in that sorry excuse for a hiding spot, right above where the candy was previously located.”
Mom: “Do we need to buy more candy?”
Me: “Only if you want candy for trick-or-treaters.”
Mom: (giggles)
Me: “Does this mean you’re going to euthanize Mister Jackles?”
Mom: “Stop it! We don’t make those kinds of jokes in this house.”
Me: “You should. Your cat’s a freaking pig.”
Categories:jack jack, Meow
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I made
Kitty Litter Cake at the special request of a friend. Most people show up to parties with wine. I show up with food that looks like poop. Her family now calls me the Kitty Litter Lady. Yum-o!
Categories:Meow, Poop, Sustenance
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