Pants, pants, PANTS!

I’ve mentioned once or twice, or one hundred times, that I spend a lot of time with my cat. He helped me find this super awesome necklace on Etsy on Saturday night while we were watching the world premiere of a Lifetime movie. Yes, we planned our weekend around a Lifetime movie. Yes, my cat and I are a “we.” A girl has to keep her priorities in check! I have dreams of becoming the Dooce of Cat Blogs.

Then my new almost-real-friend suggested we meet up for a drink so we can become friends for realsies. He is aware that I currently have a strict no dating rule in effect, so he proposed we keep conversation strictly to which Golden Girl we’d sleep with, kill, or marry. I have a theory developed about this but can’t write about it publicly until the almost-real-friend and I iron out the details after he’s tricked me into a date disguised as a non-date-friend date.

The gloves are off. I am officially obsessed. I found myself singing the Golden Girls theme song for the better part of yesterday. And I sort of spent an unhealthy amount of time searching youtube for Golden Girls video clips.

Things I Have In Common With the Golden Girls

1. We all have vaginas.
2. I said this exact phrase to my sister today!
3. They’re living my dream! I plan to spend my twilight years in the company of my BFF and her sister.
4. They live someplace without a hideous winter. Someday, I hope to live someplace without a hideous winter!
5. I’m not afraid to buy condoms (not that I need condoms, since rejoining Club Celibacy) but I had something similar happen to me once buying a six-pack of beer and some KY. Good to know I’m not the only one, thank you Golden Girls. Thank you for being my friend!

Confession: the Golden Girls them song once made me cry.

Also, I think this song would make the best karaoke song ever.