For the sake of this post, I will call the person I went on a date with Yanni. No, I did not go out with the longhaired, mustached wonder but it turned out that my date has a soft spot in his heart for Yanni. Though I find that extremely odd, I initially did not feel I could fault him for his musical taste. Especially since, I have a Pandora station dedicated to Milli Vanilli. I knew that there was not a future for Yanni and I but did not know how to excuse myself. Then he described his sense of humor.
Yanni: I’m really into abstract humor.
Me: How so?
Yanni: Well I have a friend who found a dead cat that had been run over by a car. (snickers) There was only one obvious tread mark through the middle. So he picked up the cat and took it home. Then he decided to skin it. (laughing)
Me: (silence)
Yanni: After he skinned it, he realized he needed to clean it, so what better way to clean it than to shower with it. (laughter) He showered with the dead cat, ha! (more laughter)
Me: (horrified)
Yanni: Then after the cat had dried, head attached and all, he mounted it in his car to protect the dashboard! (hysterical laughter)
Me: It’s not going to work between us.
Yanni: (hysterical laughter turned to nervous giggles)
Me: I have to go. I have work to do. (Mind you, it’s Sunday afternoon at 4:30pm.)
I have never heard anything so bizarre and disgusting in my life. And on a first date?! I really did have work to do…but I was so traumatized by meeting him that I went home and rocked myself in the fetal position for hours.
I have learned a few things from this experience. First, I need to start meeting people for “go see” coffee dates instead of a drink. Coffee is short and easy to leave if the topic of conversation turns to dead cat humor. Second, I have removed my profile from www.ihaveavaginayouhaveapenisletsdate.com and started putting together a profile where I hope to meet less people who thrive on dead cat humor.
