Did anyone else have a particularly crap Monday this week? Mine was so disappointing, especially after an unbelievably upbeat weekend.
My math teacher is in the habit of hanging on to our homework and tests FOREVER. So long, that I asked whether or not we would be receiving any of them back (he’s yet to return ANY of our homework). We took test #3 before receiving test #2 back. Turns out I totally bombed test #2, which would have been really fucking nice to know before taking test #3. Especially since math is a subject where concepts build upon one another and now I’m freaked out that I may have bombed the most recent test (which I wouldn’t fucking know because he hasn’t graded mine yet…though he did grade the majority of the rest of the class – WTF man?!), when I could have worked on misunderstood concepts if my teacher wasn’t so fucking lazy, and did his goddamned job.
I spent the better part of the morning feeling really crushed and did a semi-decent amount of crying. (Thank god for clear mascara gel – not that it mattered by the end of the day because even though my lashes looked pretty good, I still looked like someone had punched me in the face and rubbed lemon juice into my eyes.)
My dismal math scores led me to the (very adult, very disappointing) decision to cancel my trip to St. George this weekend. I seriously need to buckle down and do a sick amount of studying and I know that I won’t be able to do that if I’m out of town, having fun, as planned with Stephanie. Even though I know I need to stay home, I’m so bummed I can hardly stand it. While talking it over with my sister I started bawling. While breaking the news to Stephanie I started bawling. While thinking about it in the car I started bawling. (Notice a pattern?)
I just feel like shit for disappointing Stephanie. We haven’t seen each other since the 4th of July and we’re both lonely for each other. I hate this. I’m hoping today will be better and I’ll feel like less of a failure – in school and my personal life. The general ick of yesterday began to seep into other aspects of my life and suddenly I was an insecure cotton-headed ninny muggin. And it was about shit that I have NOTHING to worry about. Sometimes I really hate having feelings.
Now come on, commiserate with me about your shitty Monday and help me feel better, would ya?
