Entries Tagged as 'Found'
- Finding and rescuing Pyrex from thrift stores.
- Hearing Mike say he can’t wait to see my Pyrex treasures when I get home from work. Um yeah, Mike pretty much = FUCKING AWESOME.
- Drinking wine and taking drunken photographs of my new Pyrex!
- Beef Stroganoff. I remember liking it as a kid but we have both fallen in love with this recipe.
- Milk. Why on earth had I not seen that movie until now? It was incredible. It totally made me cry. Which is something, now that I’m not crying like everyday.
- We’ve started planning our wedding! It’s going to be a small family wedding at Mike’s cabin in the mountains in July. At first I was a little overwhelmed but now I’m getting really excited!
- Riesling. Seriously, what’s not to love?
- New pajamas. I bought the softest, most awesome pair of pj pants at Target for $4 dollars. HELLO LOVE!
- My niece’s curly hair. I love that kid. When she saw my new pajama pants she started poking at them with her little two year old fingers and squealing, “WHO GAVE YOU THESE PJ PANTS?! WHO GAVE YOU THESE PJ PANTS?!”
- Mike protecting me from this random creepy old sex offender dude at a friend’s house this weekend who kept looking at me like a fat kid looks at a sandwich. After the creep left we discovered nobody actually knew who he was. WTF?!
- C.O. Bigelow Mentha Lip Tint because it is the bomb.
Categories:barfing rainbows, Found, list, Pyrex
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I almost couldn’t believe it, but Egan totally started a meme!
Ten seconds ago I was washing my hands.
Ten minutes ago I was emailing Zanny about picking her up at the airport!
Ten hours ago I was trying to stay asleep.
Ten days ago I was rolling my eyes in Diarrhea 101.
Ten weeks ago I had an extremely irritating work day followed by an incredibly promising date.
Ten months ago I went to Utah to visit my family and consider moving; my niece sealed the deal with her everlasting cuteness!
Ten years ago I met my first “real” love.
—– —– —–
Ten years from now I will be paid to help others.
Ten months from now I will be taking some really exciting science classes!
Ten weeks from now I hope to be past what started ten weeks ago.
Ten days from now I’ll be having brunch with Aimee?
Ten hours from now I will be sleeping…or maybe having slumber party, girl talk with Zanny?!
Ten minutes from now I will be kicking ass and taking names.
Ten seconds from now I’ll be finishing my iced, skim latte.
Categories:All About Pants, Found, list
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Warning: If you have problems with what my father calls “water closet talk,” please skip this post.
My OCD trouble began when I was traumatized at my first post-high school job. I worked in a small office (just two of us). My male boss and I shared a bathroom. Can you tell where this is going?
I didn’t have trouble with fecal related issues before discovering a very large, very hairy turd that my boss left in the toilet. The most horrific part; there was no toilet paper. NO TOILET PAPER! Who does that?! I mean, leaving a gigantic piece of shit in a toilet is hands-down disgusting, but not even taking the time to wipe your own ass? WHO DOES THAT?! That is some serious filthiness to not bother wiping your own butthole.
From there my mental state deteriorated when I realized that someone who couldn’t be bothered to wipe their own butthole would surely not be caught up with pesky habits like hand washing. I fell apart when I looked around the cramped, overstuffed office and realized that everything around me was surely contaminated with filthy no-butthole-wiping-no-hand-washing fecal matter.
Categories:Assholes, crap, dumb, Found, Memory, Poop
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Last night I found my most favorite new website!
http://www.picturesofwalls.com/
I want to make a comparison between this and my favorite Gabriel Garcia Marquez short story, but I’m way past making any sort of sense tonight.
Here are some new favorites over at Pictures of Walls.
Categories:Found
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It’s been awhile since I have shared search phrases that bring readers perverted Google searchers here. There’s been an excessive amount of the weird searches below during the last week…I can no longer be the only one to know that I’m Google rated #2 for “diarrhea pickup line.”
stuffed Fetus (Rad!)
pants with Fuck on them (Almost confused.)
pants full of shit pictures (Totally not into this.)
extended pleasure condoms do they work (No comment.)
diarrhea pickup line (I’m almost #1!)
fat guys in dolphin shorts (Just told this story to a neighbor last week!)
Categories:All About Pants, Found, my milkshake brings all the hobos to the yard
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If you don’t read Found, you are missing out.
Find of the Day – Remember UsFOUND by Meghan in Maplewood, New Jersey
I found this picture torn in half while walking my dog. Its double sided. The back says, “so keep this to remember us jus like we will ___ you. -bb” (I can’t read part of it).
Categories:Found
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I am officially obsessed with hoagie shackin’…prime candidates everywhere, even the mushrooms!
Categories:crap, Found
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The following search phrases were used to reach my pants. Search phrases make my day!
fucking a mormon girl
*insert vague reference to celibacy here*
penis sightings
I wish!
if I had a penis
Well then I wouldn’t be me, would I?
people who eat scabs
Yuck.
jigsaw puzzle boobs
I do love jigsaw puzzles.
what a roofies looks like
Hell. That’s what roofies look like.
what to say when it gets awkward
Say nothing. RUN!
Categories:crap, Found, hell is for single people
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I ransacked Goodwill for a totally rad dress to wear to the 80s Prom. No dice! However, I did learn something new tonight and not just to avoid eye contact with the random guy who hangs out by the dressing room with the secure door (bed sheet).
I found the following inside of a purse. Looks like Delta Gamma’s are slutty, love Disneyland, sex, taking pictures (of sex?), have called their mother but not their father. Finding weird stuff like this makes me happy beyond words.
Keep your fingers crossed I will find something as rad as one of these gorgeous google image treasures! (I should be so lucky.)
Unfortunately I no longer have a hair crimper, but I know where to buy a banana clip.
Though like totally 80s, I think this might be too pretty. Not that I’d pass it up if I were lucky enough to find it in my size.
I’m pretty sure my sister wore this exact dress to her senior ball. It makes me hungry for sherbet. Or Orange Julius. Or cheese sticks. Or cheese doodles. Or orange Play-Doh.
Looking at this dress, it makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts.
Categories:80s, Found
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