Less than a week until the wedding and the stress has been incredibly awful. Last week I decided to stop making decisions. I can tell my indifference to most things is annoying my mother but I don’t know how else to react. When I offer an opinion about my wedding, it is shot down so I can shut up or attempt to fight it out. Lame.
After telling my mother that I wanted to write a very carefully worded letter to Walt Disney thanking him for promoting the myth of fairytale weddings she told me that most brides give their mothers more responsibility so they don’t have to be all freaked out. It’s funny because I thought putting my mother in charge of making and transporting all of the food, coordinating borrowing tables, chairs, and tablecloths was a lot of responsibility. But apparently it is not enough because she continues to make shitloads of spreadsheets about everyfuckingdetail and lives for long conversations about table placement that make me dream of suicide. I don’t know what else to give her unless she wants to wear my wedding dress.
I just reread the previous paragraph and I am a total bitch! Which our good friends S and V told me is permitted. They said Mike and I both get a behavior “pass” this week. (But after the wedding they’ll start making a list – HA.)
S also saved me from my mother yesterday after the ridiculously overstressed transportation of the tables and chairs to the cabin. He jumped in and helped with discussing details I lacked the brainpower (or desire) to address. And at the end of the day when we were at S and V’s house, being fed delicious vodka cherry concoctions, S perfectly summed up the day of watching our families interact when he said, “There are too many cooks in the kitchen!” Suddenly I don’t feel so bad about mentally checking out and spending most of my day taking deep breaths and playing solitaire on Facebook.
Categories:Anxiety, Engagement, confession, fucking paradise, if anyone needs me I'll be drinking in my closet, my dysfunctional family is better than yours, wedding
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Last week I reached the point where I started wishing we had eloped. My friend Margot tells me that is normal and in a year I will be so happy we did the regular wedding. Which is great to hear, I just wish it were a little more reassuring right now.
Mike and I have most of the big things arranged: we all know/have what we’re wearing, my sister is marrying us, we have a photographer, my mom is doing the food, etc. The one thing that hadn’t happened until this weekend was introducing Mike’s dad and stepmom to my parents. It went really well, especially after I poured myself a half and half rum and Diet Coke.
My favorite part of the evening was when my mother told Mike’s stepmom she thought Mike was modest. His stepmom said Mike had good manners but she didn’t think he was modest. She asked Mike’s dad what he thought…after a minute he said, “Well he doesn’t wave his dick around in the park.”
OK off to go figure out how my sister and I are going to manage to do all of my flowers on our own. I am going back to sleep and see if I can’t get rid of this cold which was surely brought on by stress.
Categories:Engagement, if anyone needs me I'll be drinking in my closet, love my sister, wedding
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Two years ago today I was living in the bay area and visiting my family in Utah. My parents had just moved into a new home and the express purpose of my visit was to see if I could handle moving to Utah and living with them so I could return to school. Quite a few of my friends thought I was crazy to move to Utah – especially to live with my parents. But I had reached a place with my job where I was tremendously unhappy didn’t give two shits about my work. Everyday was a challenge to get up and go to that job. I had worked long enough in that industry that I made a decent salary, which kept me there for 6 years, until I realized I just couldn’t take it anymore. Working in a job I loathed was sofa king unhealthy. It probably had a large affect my back problems and surgery from the year before.
Sure I could have taken classes while working (which I did) but it never got me anywhere. The thought of starting over and being able to attend school full time was the first thing that got me thinking about Utah. During my 2007 Memorial Day visit it was my little niece who stole my heart and sealed my decision to move. I have four other nieces but had never lived near any of them. Seeing how adorable my little eight-month-old niece was and realizing how much of an impact I could have on her life by being a regular part of it persuaded me to move.
I also didn’t want to one day regret not spending time with my parents while they are still around. I had a conversation with one of my uncles about how much he regrets not spending time with his parents when they lived in the same town because he was too busy working. I don’t want that to be me.
Even though I gripe about the liquor laws and fry sauce, I am glad that I made the move. I love seeing my niece and sister. We have a much closer relationship than ever before, I see my parents enough that they drive me crazy (sometimes), and I have met many fabulous new friends.
The biggest change, one that I wouldn’t have believed even if someone had told me, was meeting Mike. I have never felt as happy and secure in a relationship as I do with Mike. Certain things make sense that didn’t before and I am so happy to have clicked on (hello internet dating!) my true partner. He understands so much of the Mormon bullshit I grew up with because he is a non-Mormon raised in SLC. Plus he’s sensitive, hilarious, has an equally twisted sense of humor, and he’s a total hunk! I am thrilled for the next 46 days to fly by so we can be husband and wife.
Categories:All About Pants, Engagement, SLC FINALLY Owns!, happy happy joy joy, my dysfunctional family is better than yours, wedding
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Mike and I have been planning our wedding for about the past month now. Come to think of it, we’ve been planning our wedding since we first met. Everything with him has been so different and wedding talk started naturally, pretty early on. My sister is going to marry us at his cabin in the nearby mountains, surrounded by our families.
The planning has been exciting, though a bit stressful because we are taking care of everything ourselves. So far we have our invitations ordered, quirky wedding cake toppers (vintage salt and pepper shakers!), photographer, and wedding dress. We had talked about doing wedding bands because the whole engagement ring thing just seemed a little over the top and what’s really important here is that we’re together. Putting off getting married to purchase what some politically unstable industry tells us we should spend on our love just seemed, well, retarded.
Yesterday we walked to the park where six months earlier we had our first date. Mike took a knee, pulled out a ring and did the old fashioned proposal. I think I scared him because my initial reaction was, “CRAZY BEANS! I love you!” before saying “Yes!” I wasn’t expecting anything and was so surprised and happy. The ring is yellow gold with an aquamarine in the center and diamonds on the side and it’s just fucking perfect. It really suits me. Making it even more sentimental: the ring was his mother’s. Nothing to let you know you’re really in with your future MIL like an engagement ring!
Here is a picture of the slide at the park six months ago.
This is what the slide looked like yesterday. HA HA.
Categories:Engagement, Mike = FTW, barfing rainbows, happy happy joy joy
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