Pants, pants, PANTS!

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Entries Tagged as 'buying stuff'

Friday I’m in Love

June 20th, 2008 · No Comments

This week I have been loving…

D.I.! Though really, I love D.I. every week. What’s not to love when you find treasures like this…

$3 baby doll stroller for my niece, who walked in circles around the kitchen island for FOUR HOURS! Screaming, “Ah byyye!” Every time she’d pass, flirt with her reflection in the sliding glass door, then start it all again. As my brother-in-law called it: a solid purchase.

$2 Sexual Fitness stretching for couples book. I picked this up for my friend, who will be giving it to his brother, that is saving his flower. I think it’s hilarious. Hopefully it won’t take too much therapy to get over it…

The only thing I can say about this homemade, church related puzzle (besides let you know that I didn’t buy it) is that these little fuckers added to my personal therapeutic history. Thanks J.S.

Can you say seventy-five cent BRAND NEW Hello Kitty tote? Jack Jack can, I had to pry it away from him after this modeling session so he wouldn’t destroy it before my honorary niece opens it on her birthday.

Painting the niece’s fingernails and toes with hot pink. She made JAZZ HANDS! the rest of the evening.

Rock hard nectarines. I like them crunchy like apples and they’re bangin’ this week.

True happiness is a cold room on a hot summer day. One thermostat for a two story house, set at seventy-nine degrees, makes for this downstairs. Say hello to heaven.

Still can’t get enough of The Ditty Bops. This week’s obsession is Bye Bye Love.

What are you loving this week?

Categories:All About Pants, buying stuff, jack jack, list, Meow, stuff I put in my mouth, thrifty
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Adventures in Kmart

June 17th, 2008 · No Comments

Favorite things about my trip to Kmart.

  • Customers. I LOVE hearing “ladies” threaten their husbands if they are rushed through their next shopping stop: Walmarts.
  • No air conditioning in the dressing rooms.
  • Chastity sweats. They may not look so chaste on my big ol’ butt, but now I don’t have to covet Mrs. AK and Sarah’s “True Love Waits” sweats at BFF night. I hope Rlo doesn’t feel left out.

Categories:big ol' butt, buying stuff, Club Celibacy, cobwebs in my privates?, Uncategorized
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The Things We Do For Love

May 2nd, 2008 · No Comments


The buckle on my new Keds is eating my foot alive but they’re so cute it’s totally worth the destruction of my feet.

Categories:buying stuff
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En Route to Modest Clothing Tent Sale

April 21st, 2008 · No Comments

Me: Is that BYU?

Sister: Yeah.

Me: (Rolls down window, grabs boobs.) Hey BYU, I’m touching my boobs. In your face Honor Code!

1 1/2 year old niece (from back seat): Boobies? Booby! Booooooobies! Booby! BOOBY! BOOOOOOOBIES!

Categories:buying stuff, Childhood Cult
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Stuff I Think About/Do Rather Than Homework

February 18th, 2008 · No Comments

Today I attended the Live Blogging Thingy ’08. I have met quite a few bloggers but this was the first time I’ve participated in a live event. I enjoyed it very much and would gladly join future blogging thingys. Big hooray to Jon for being the idea man!

Also interesting (in a completely nerding-myself-out way), the Salt Lake City Library is totally fucking rad! I want to go back and wander around when I have more time.

On my way home I stopped by Steve & Barry’s because I was desperately in need of some retail therapy. Since moving in with my parents and returning to school, I have had a wee bit of trouble adjusting to a part-time salary. Which is why I end up shopping at places like Steve & Barry’s…it’s either that, or D.I. (the Mormon version of Goodwill).

Observations from Steve & Barry’s

  • At first I thought that their prices must be so low from employing sweatshops…but now realize they must pay their staff with jellybeans. Seriously, I’ve had better service at the DMV. I was the next-person-in-line for more than ten minutes while three staff members (unsuccessfully) rang up one customer.
  • Straight leg, low rise jeans are NOT meant for girls who’ve “got back.”
  • Which leads me to wonder why I continue to try them on?
  • I have no business wearing clothes with odd number sizing.
  • After using the restroom it became EXTREMELY apparent they are not spending their money on cleaning. There were three visible fluids/substances…my gift to you is leaving that up to your imagination horrification.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. Just kidding! Though I was dying to say that today when I finished my reading. It’s been a loooong time since I’ve stood at a podium in front of a group.

Categories:buying stuff, list, queen of procrastination
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Victoria’s Secret, You’re Fired!

February 7th, 2008 · No Comments

Dear Vicky S.,

Yesterday I threw money away in one of your stores. I’ve been in need of “restocking” for some time now and was a little disappointed with your selection. Even more disappointing was the store manager …what a bitch. She was consistently rude: attitude, rolling eyes, slamming shit around on the floor. I know I could have asked her name and called your customer service number, but I value my life (and chest) so I opted to avoid eye contact.

Today I was excited to wear the ONE decent bra I purchased. Only, it turns out to be rather indecent. “Bad” indecent! Underwire should not leave me aching and adjusting/hiding behind my office door after six and a half hours of wear.

Rather than go back to the bitchy manager’s store and exchange, I’m going to drive out of my way and hope for better staff and selection.

Angrily yours,

Pants

Categories:Assholes, buying stuff, crap, Customer Service Bullshit
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Damn Returns

October 8th, 2007 · No Comments

Yesterday I purchased an adorable pair of Velcro Vans. I was so excited to own a pair of Vans Prison Issue shoes! They were adorable and capable of righting a childhood wrong: my mother wouldn’t allow me to have Velcro shoes in elementary school because they were for “special kids.” Just because I was capable of tying shoes, whatevs!

Unfortunately, the Prison Issue shoes were a bit too snug. It only took me all freaking day to decide on a replacement pair. I was so tired I could not even tell which size felt best. Ugh.

I thought the Nordie Rack shoe elf was a lil’ old, but he quickly fetched multiple sizes of my replacement shoes.


I caught this sunset on my way home from the gym. The fall colors looked unreal and I was lucky enough to catch the few minutes when twilight creeps across the mountains.

Categories:buying stuff, photos
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Pretty Soon He Will Have to Pay Rent

October 2nd, 2007 · No Comments

I suppose chewing weeds in the backyard is the buck equivalent of rent. He kicked it in the backyard for about and hour and a half today when I got home from spending money I should be saving.

Categories:buying stuff, fresh as a daisy
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Mommy, WOW! I’m a Big Kid Now!

March 26th, 2007 · No Comments

I took the plunge. After thinking about it for more than a year, I decided enough already! No, I’m not dating a man without closeted mental health issues – though it’s next on my list – I bought a bed! And not the questionable type you find in a local warehouse discount store…a real live bed I chose for myself!

The salesman started me off with an extremely firm bed, then moved onto the Cadillacs of the mattress industry. I like my beds hard (insert bad pun here). The next mattresses he showed me were firm with built in pillow tops but I liked the stiff-as-a-board bed.

The strangest part of buying a bed was carrying on conversation with a complete stranger while laying on my back and side on multiple beds. I felt like he was watching me pee. He could have at least bought me a drink before I lay all over the store for him! But I guess he did the mattress salesman version of a drink: free pillows and bedframe (which are padded into the mattress and box spring).

Thankfully, I didn’t have to “lay” for the deliveryman. As he was carrying it into my apartment he said, “I don’t mean to stereotype or nothin’, but…” (Which of course means he’s going to stereotype with a healthy dose of racism.) “I was surprised to see that you’re white because the only Asians like this bed.” I wasn’t quite sure what to say so I went with, “I own a rice cooker.”

Categories:buying stuff
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