Pants, pants, PANTS!

“I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about a recovering drug addict that’s just sexy.”

“Those who write on shithouse walls,
Roll their shit in little balls,
And those who read those shithouse wits,
Eat them little balls of shit.”

“Spider spider on the wall,
Ain’t you got no sense at all,
Can’t you see the walls been plastered,
Get off the wall you dirty…spider.”

“Yeah, I saw your Golden Girl necklace. I had a picture of them in the bathroom as a kid. My parents were always harassing me when I was in the bathroom with those sexy ladies and I’d be all, ‘I’ll be out in a minute MOM! I’m brushing my hair!’”

“God dammit! The next bitch that calls bingo is getting punched in the babymaker!”

“My fart just sounded like a firecracker!”

Steph and Liza made fun of me when I excitedly ordered my “Waffle of Fortune!” But damn it was good!

I may not have been fortunate in bingo but I was fortunate on the slot machines…I won back all the money I’d spent on bingo and slots. It paid for my night and a little bit more. That’s good enough for me!