Less than a week until the wedding and the stress has been incredibly awful. Last week I decided to stop making decisions. I can tell my indifference to most things is annoying my mother but I don’t know how else to react. When I offer an opinion about my wedding, it is shot down so I can shut up or attempt to fight it out. Lame.
After telling my mother that I wanted to write a very carefully worded letter to Walt Disney thanking him for promoting the myth of fairytale weddings she told me that most brides give their mothers more responsibility so they don’t have to be all freaked out. It’s funny because I thought putting my mother in charge of making and transporting all of the food, coordinating borrowing tables, chairs, and tablecloths was a lot of responsibility. But apparently it is not enough because she continues to make shitloads of spreadsheets about everyfuckingdetail and lives for long conversations about table placement that make me dream of suicide. I don’t know what else to give her unless she wants to wear my wedding dress.
I just reread the previous paragraph and I am a total bitch! Which our good friends S and V told me is permitted. They said Mike and I both get a behavior “pass” this week. (But after the wedding they’ll start making a list – HA.)
S also saved me from my mother yesterday after the ridiculously overstressed transportation of the tables and chairs to the cabin. He jumped in and helped with discussing details I lacked the brainpower (or desire) to address. And at the end of the day when we were at S and V’s house, being fed delicious vodka cherry concoctions, S perfectly summed up the day of watching our families interact when he said, “There are too many cooks in the kitchen!” Suddenly I don’t feel so bad about mentally checking out and spending most of my day taking deep breaths and playing solitaire on Facebook.
a few more days and it will all be over!!!
Thank goodness!
For a week or so before my wedding, I did not want to make any decisions. I just did not care anymore. However, no one else cared either, so I had to do everything myself. Kind of the exact opposite problem from yours!
That’s why there are honeymoons though. You can get away from everyone and just relax!
I have a theory: every culture has wedding traditions, and because we are a melting pot here in the U.S., everyone tries to include all those nifty wedding ideas into every wedding, at once! Sooooo not necessary.
In Braveheart, didn’t she just pin Mel Gibson’s tartan onto her dress and call it a marriage?
-R-,
It’s funny that you had the exact opposite problem! We’re going to take a honeymoon in a couple of months but we will have two days at the cabin to ourselves afterward, that we are both looking forward to!
ubermilf,
It sure isn’t! I think part of my mom’s stuff might be related to me not making the same religious choices as her. OH WELL!
I think the other part of it might be that my family tradition for weddings seems to be having a total dysfunctional family meltdown. JOY!
Aw, hang in there. And remember, in just a week, all of this wedding drama will be over and you’ll be married to Mike. Yay!! Keep your eye on the prize. It will help, I promise!
And, it’s ok to check out a little. You’ve got bigger things to focus on…like your MARRIAGE! Whoo hoo!
Think of it this way- within a week you’ll be married. Amen to that! I have never heard of the bride’s mom taking over planning unless it was the 1950′s. Is your mom a time traveler?
Hang in there!
Oh My God!
…You’re about to be MRS. PANTS!!!!
This is so exciting!!!!
Just focus on all the presents and the fun of the honeymoon night and you’ll have a blast! …And, I should think that drinks will be served at the wedding! No wedding closets, please!
I’m so happy for you!
love and kisses,
matty
You have a full pass this week my dear…enjoy. As much as you can anyway – after the ceremony it really should be all fun. In the interests of your sanity I will not relate any horror stories that I might have known or expereienced.
You do get a free beyotch pass.
And your mother is half right; most brides give the someone the decision-making responsibilities so they don’t have to be all freaked out. Its called a wedding planner. Unfortunately I couldn’t afford one, and because I am type A, I ran around like a royal cunt and almost killed my beloved husband to be. (of the many things that happened the week of my wedding, we moved into a new house and he threw my veil away, thinking it was “just a box with tissue paper in it”). Weddings suck, and the main reason people don’t get divorced is because it is a pain in the ass to do it all over again. But other than that, it is pretty awesome and it was the happiest day of my life.
Seriously tho, just block all the shit out of your mind- you are Princess Aerial about to wed Princess Eric. And if that ho Ursula even thinks about showing up, your mom will turn that bitch into calamari .
The week before is hell. But I’ve found that it makes the day that much more enjoyable…and it allows small things that may or may not happen that day just slide right off your back.
I used to plan weddings and mothers of the brides were always my…um..favorites. Yeah…favorites. I think, though, that they are just so excited and want everything to be perfect for you that they forget that it’s not their day. They mean well, but damn is it ever annoying!
Whoops, Im sure your Prince Eric would take issue with me calling him a Princess. My bad typo.
Tiffany,
Thanks! Now that we’re only three days away it seems less crazy. At least right now, who knows how I’ll feel in five minutes!
sizzle,
Sometimes my mother acts like a time traveler. It could be!
matty,
There will definitely be drinks. Thanks Matty! xoxo
foundinidaho,
We have some friends and who have shared some of their pre-wedding drama/family crap and it helped me feel a little less crazy. Knowing that we’re not the only ones!
Maybe after the wedding you could relate a horror story?
Shannon,
I always thought wedding planners were kind of silly and something people with money have but are unnecessary. Now that I’m trying to juggle the insanity I can see their worth. I know the wedding will be beautiful and I hear that in a year I will be glad that I didn’t elope!
I can’t believe your husband threw your veil away! We considered moving right before the wedding but I’m relieved it didn’t work out because we may have both ended up dead if we combined moving with marriage.
SM,
I just received a panicked phone call alerting me to the purchase of coffee cups! Delegating is a nice thought, but I feel like I end up doing the work when we have to talk our way through every single delegated task.
Shannon,
Ha ha! I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it!
don’t forget to provide us with honeymoon photos! we all need to see your man!!!
I hope the wedding went brilliantly and that a wonderful “rest of your lives” awaits you and Mike.