Comments on: Helpful Book

By: marty

marty — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:20:28 +0000

Thanks for posting about this book. I just put it on hold at the library.

By: ubermilf

ubermilf — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:46:33 +0000

Even when you think you’re “over it,” you can have a bad dream or two about it a year later.

Or more.

By: Bunnie

Bunnie — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 05:01:15 +0000

I think it is wonderful that you have been blogging about it and I hope it has helped you get through this. It’s ridiculous that the shame stigma is attached to miscarriages. What in God’s name is there to be ashamed of? We humans can be real assholes some times.

By: Megan

Megan — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:32:29 +0000

One of my friends just told her family that she’s pregnant, and was met with the “so the doctor says it’s OK to tell everyone?” question.

I hate that. Why wouldn’t it be OK to tell people whenever you want to? The only reason I can think of is that they might be total jerks if there’s a problem with the pregnancy. Better to keep it all a secret if the doc hasn’t given the all-clear, right? We wouldn’t want to deal with anything uncomfortable, like other people’s grief and loss. That’s really hard for US.

We are a selfish, uncaring culture that has no appreciation of the many emotions that go along with pregnancy. You take all the time you need. And to hell with the people who get uncomfortable.

By: J.

J. — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:51:43 +0000

I think our society in general doesn’t deal with grief well. It feels like you’re faced with a lot of “just get over it already” and “suck it up and deal” attitudes. It’s good that you have wonderful Mike and family and friends who (hopefully) understand how hard this is.

By: Erin

Erin — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:41:08 +0000

Oh, hon. I can’t imagine your disappointment and feeling of loss. My cousin just miscarried, too – less than a week after Christmas dinner, when she told the whole family she was pregnant.

You are right – it’s too bad there isn’t an established way to recognize the grief that comes with this. But at least you’re developing a community online that wants to understand and is with you.

By: SM

SM — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 16:32:02 +0000

I’m glad that you found that book and that it’s helping a bit. I agree that for the most part, our society as a whole is pretty lame when it comes to mourning a pregnancy loss. But it’s amazing how far it’s come since blogging has become so popular. There are so many pregnancy loss blogs out there…many helped me get through my loss. Hopefully someday grieving our losses won’t have to stay online.

By: egan

egan — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 05:09:24 +0000

You’re so right about how we as a culture deal with miscarriages. I’m glad you’re putting this out there for everyone. This is when a support system is really helpful. Good on you for sharing.