My sister and I are so different I’ve often wondered how we came out of the same vagina. I’ve had thirty-two years to ponder our differences and hope that one day, she will accept me. I’m beginning to realize, this is not a very realistic hope.
It hurts my feelings that she is incapable of expressing happiness or support for anything that is not directly in line with her own beliefs. When she calls me to talk about her new church calling, or her daughter’s baptism, I support her. I don’t say, “BAPTISM?! Pshaw! You’re having your kid baptized into that cult founded by the pedophile, sex offender, douchebag?!”
I treat her as I would like to be treated. I support her. It’s called the motherfucking Golden Rule! And I wish she would apply it to her own life.
I’m sick of double standards. So what if I’m making decisions that don’t line up with her religious beliefs? My decisions are MY OWN! They don’t line up with my parents’ beliefs either, yet they manage to love and accept me, as I am. When I tell my mother I’m planning a gang bang she replies, “That’s nice. I’m sure it will be lovely, dear. I’m happy that you’re happy.” I’d appreciate a similar response from my sister instead of a flat, unsupportive statement.
I totally support you in any gang bang related activities!
It really depends on the gang doing the banging, IMHO. Make sure they are respectable, do their chores, and wear clean underwear.
Dude. I have a brother who is exactly the same way. Although it’s not Mormon v. non-Morm in our case. I’m a redneck, and he’s a poser. It’s tough, man. Tough. Hope you’re doing well! I’m building up to finals, and cannot seem to dredge up anything but a full whine, so no posting lately. Good luck with your finals!
What a nice mom !
Just remind your sis about her belief in free agency, and Jesus’ lessons about loving, and only casting stones when you yourself are perfect and all that.
What Sra said – and yes, thank goodness you have awesome parents who support you anyway. Keep in mind they’ve lived a lot more life than your sister in years and she, too, may mellow as she gets older.
You need to slip some mood altering drugs into your sister’s drinks. I can totally identify with you though. I know I’ve mentioned to you that I can’t figure out how my sister and I were formed from the same gene pool. I’ve tried everything I could to get my sister to open her eyes to what a douche bag husband she has. I even told her that he’s a douche bag and it still didn’t sink in. Its difficult to change our stubborn sisters and frustrating that we are required to love them solely because we are related.
At least you have your mom’s support. But not mine. I’m totally anti-gang bang. Now if you were to be a part of a masked orgy, well, that’s another story.
I think your sister needs to take it once in the pooper, then maybe she’ll lighten up
.
I think that Christians sometimes have the most difficulty in acting “Christlike”. But I’m sure that she’ll come around. If not, it sounds like a (her) personal problem. I’ll support your gang banging. I’ll even make rice crispy treats!
I think it’s hopeless thinking that your sister will change. Frankly, I would stop being nice and give the same flat, non-supportive comments back to her “good news,” but I can be a real cunt sometimes. And if she controls access to your adorable neice, then you have a dilemma. Like my husband says, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.”
Jer,
You’re the best Jesus EVER!
The Grunt,
Clean underwear is always a must!
Jen,
School is fucking killing me! Good luck with your finals!!
Scott,
Thanks, my mum’s the best!
Sra,
If only it would help.
lostinutah,
I certainly hope so. It makes me sad to think that I’m probably going to have to come to terms with the face that she’s just a wacky fundamentalist.
Burreetoe,
I feel like I do a pretty good job of accepting her, even though we don’t see eye to eye on much…I just wish she would try the same.
Noelle,
Ooo! Masked orgy?! Fun! As long as it’s not like the masked orgy they had on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia…that was centered around a bunch of chubby people and weird looking buffet food.
Meggypoo,
What’s a gang bag without Rice Krispie Treats?! NOTHING! That’s what.
J.,
Unfortunately, I think you’re probably right. It is hopeless thinking to wish she would change. I don’t really want to change her anyway. Perhaps I will give the same flat response to her news? Today I reacted by sending her to voicemail.
My boyfriend says that friends are God’s way of making up for family.
I, too, am a recovering mormonholic, and I also have a sister JUST LIKE THAT. It sucks.
She’s all, I’m so holy because I went on a mission and I love my boyfriend but we don’t do naughty things and BYU rocks so hard that after I graduated from there I stayed in Provo and started working there. Yippee!
And she’s really mean to me. Pshaw, I saw. Pshaw. I don’t bother with her anymore.
I mean…
Pshaw, I say. Pshaw.
While this is a serious issue, I had to laugh at your telling of it. I mean, the vagina part? And then the gang bang? How could I not? But seriously, I’m sorry that you aren’t feeling supported by your sister. Sister relationships are so special. It’s a shame she can’t see past her religious beliefs to support you.
I’m betting your sister would be pro-gang bang if Mitt Romney organized it.
Have you ever invited your sister to one of your gang-bangs? Maybe she just feels excluded.
My sister and I are polar opposites, as well…but there’s no friction. We just don’t talk about…well, anything, really. It works just fine for us.
My sister and I are opposites in so many ways too.. just like lizgwiz says, we don’t talk about it, or anything else for that matter. Your sister may or may not ever come around; but I’ll tell you what, I sure as fuck hate that attitude of “you don’t believe what I believe, my beliefs are right; you are a lesser person, and Mormon Jesus loves me but looks down on you”. Fuck that shit. My family is similar, but they have been brainwashed by Impact Training (http://www.impacttrainings.com/), which is a cult worse than any other I am aware of.
Hang in there, at least your mom is supportive of gang banging. That’s a step in the right direction for sure!
Pants, you met my sister Kate at that party in PG, so you know how great she is. She’s 13 years younger than me and quit going to church as a teen. I stayed in the church until I was 34.
One time when I heard she had started selling sex toys (you know, doing the parties and stuff) as a part-time job, I pursed my lips and sphincters, and began in typical Mormon-woman-righteously-indignant-mode to talk about her activities to everyone in our family BUT her, and to say shitty things about it like, “I wonder how THAT’LL look on her resume. Hmmmm. I can’t believe she’d do something so lame.” My mom, bless her heart, defended Kate’s choice to do this and talked me down from saying more. But still I judged from afar.
A few months later, my mom and Kate came to Montana to visit me. It was great to see them. We went to a soccer game and I had a moment that changed my life and my relationship with Kate forever: she asked me to stay in the car for a minute so she could talk to me. Here she was at age 19, talking to me (age 32) with such wisdom, compassion, and maturity, calmly stating why my censure of her hurt, and why it was so misguided and wrong. She talked about how she felt she was seriously helping women in Utah who had never dared to explore their own needs or sexuality. She felt she was helping women to feel beautiful and worthy and sexy and she was helping them shed unnecessary guilt from their bedrooms.
She told me that she felt that my talking about her to others and my judging her without asking HER for her motivations and reasons was wrong and she hoped sincerely that I’d reconsider and not be that kind of sister. She told me she has always loved me and looked up to me and wanted me to be the kind of sister she could continue to look up to: one who respected her enough to talk to her and accept her as she is.
My good god. She and I cried and my heart was so ashamed and I knew she was absolutely correct and that here was a wise woman I could learn from about real life and love.
So my advice is, don’t cut your sister off completely. She may have her head too far into the Mormon Mindfuck to see clearly. But someday she might, and you may find out she’s one of your best friends ever.
This furthers my desires to meet your mom. I want to see her facial expression when you say stuff like gang bang to her face. Sorry about the sister thing. You know it’s just her, but it still sucks a bit that she can’t be more supportive.
Hi, um… I love you
Aren’t Mormon plural marriages one life-long gang bang? I thought that’s what the show “Big Love” was all about.
If it was my sibling, I’d either be over-excited, kind of like Meg Ryan doing the lunch/faked orgasm bit… or I’d be so blasé and bored sounding that my sibling would feel the need to check my pulse about their news. Golden rule applies, even to Mindfucked siblings, and if they can’t play, then what the hell makes you feel like you have to follow their rules of fuckedupness? Big hugs to you, Pants.
Love SML’s story. Kate is good people.
My husband’s parents are the same way. In a totally random nonimportant example, I hate mushrooms on my pizza and love pineapple and bacon. My mother in law always makes us get a pizza with mushrooms but always makes fun of the kind of pizza I want. It is so stupid but it makes my blood boil simply because I am being accepting of hers even though I don’t like it while she is being rude and not being cool with my choice. I don’t give a crap if she likes what I like or not, but you should always be respectful of another persons choices!
This happens with bigger real issues as well (obviously…I would never be pissed off over pizza unless there was more!), but since I don’t want to take over and crap all over your blog I will stick with just the pizza example.
I think it’s ok to withhold your support for her once in a while. It’s an abusive relationship and you haven’t given her any reason to stop taking what you have to offer (support), while giving you nothing back. She sounds like a bully. I know of a really good book that gives practical advice for handling bullies. I’ve recommend it to hundreds of people: Tongue Fu! by Sam Horn.
It is sad and unfortunate that your sister does not give your choices/beliefs the support and respect anyone would wish for. She will hopefully find a way to have a good relationship with you while disagreeing. In the meantime, here are some suggestions. Take it or leave it.
I suggest thinking about what you want from her. Do you want her to be fake and give verbal support? Do you want her to be honest? Do you want her to just listen and say nothing? Once you decide, I suggest letting her know. She might listen and the relationship will improve.
On your side, it seems like your support and respect for her choices/beliefs is lacking as well. She criticizes to your face, you criticize behind her back. Looking at it that way, it seems that one of these sisters is like the other. Food for thought.