This week I listened to the cassette tape my astrologist gave me of my birthday session. She basically laid out the next year, giving me an idea of what to expect. Note to self: listening to what you’re going to be doing for the next year, seven months AFTER the fact isn’t very helpful. I took some notes and will be sure to do that earlier next year. It’s amazing how accurate the session has proved.
Some people think your (actual) birthday determines the next year. If I’d known that, I would have spent my birthday a little differently. It wasn’t BAD, per say, just nothing I care to repeat for an entire year. The Cliffs Notes version of my birthday…
· Spent most of the day in bed watching a Law & Order marathon, in deep procrastination.
· Had dinner with my family.
· Watched my mother try and con us into burning an old flag because it was the “respectful” thing to do. HOLY WHAT THE FUCK?! There are SO many things that are wrong with this…but let’s start with the fact that flags don’t freaking burn: they are fire retardant. To accomplish such a “respectful” task, an old flag requires soaking in lighter fluid (or some such bullshit) beforehand. My mother skipped this step in favor of lighters and candles. The only substantial outcome, other than a polyester fume high and a few small burnt spots (on the flag), was my poor sister having a piece of polyester burnt into her skin. (That’s what you get for trying to help your mother!)
· Started writing my paper around 9:30PM.
· Received a phone call from the guy I was seeing around 10:00PM, who I later discovered, just wasn’t that into me.
You can bet your sweet ass I’ll not be procrastinating on my next birthday or burning ANYTHING with my family. I will be having the best day ever. It will include being totally on top of my school work and lots of awesome sex with a man (not a boy, or guy) who respects me and worships the fucking ground I walk on. I am over the year of procrastination and boys who don’t measure up.
This has nothing to do with your post specifically, but I just have to say I love how many different and nuanced categories you have for essentially the same general topic. I should implement some more specific categories on my own blog, I think.
I LOVE IT!
I feel the same way about boys who don’t measure up. I’m OVER it.
Oh my god, I spent my birthday at a chain restaurant and the mall. What does THAT do for my coming year? I shudder to think.
A couple years ago I started making lists on my birthday. Things I want to do, goals to accomplish. Seemingly magically a lot of things actually happen without me really having to buckle down too much. Which I enjoy since I’m a big fan of procrastination.
Stefanie,
It’s a lot of fun…you should try it!
happy fun pants,
Indeed!
lizgwiz,
It’s scary, isn’t it?
sprizee,
I will be following your lead next year!
Down with boys, UP WITH MEN! My new goal is to make sure that your next birthday is one that will ensure a year that is nothing less than fantabulous!
You should sign up for the birthday club on Disneyland’s website because they will send you a ticket to get in there free on your birthday in 2009. Then you you, Zanny, and I can ride the Indiana Jones ride over and over again!
Not to laugh at the unfortunate or anything, but your sister getting polyester burnt into her skin made me wee in my pants a little.
Well, an attempt at burning a flag is something a bit different from the usual b-day sort of thing to do.
I’m glad that your skin was not harmed on your birthday!
I thought one could bury a flag.
…personally, if I found one I would just toss it in the recycling bin. Maybe it will come round to something better in a next life.
Why does it have to be so hard? I guess when you are stupid and young you don’t have enough brain power to mess it all up and complicate things.
The Boy Scouts love burning things. Give your old flags to them.
I count my birthdays differently now. This next birthday will be “Life + 1″ for me.
*snort*
Best wishes for your next birthday and the year following.
I can’t remember for the life of me what I did last year on my birthday. But I must have done something along the lines you describe for me to be so happy as it comes up again this year.
So pursue that thought.
Amen, sister friend, amen!
My birthday’s coming up in a couple of weeks. I’ll have to go to work, but hope to have lots of yummy sex before and after!
Who is your astrologer and how can I get in contact with this person? I went to Chinatown and had my palm read and the mysterious fortune-teller said that I had to pay her like $100 because I was cursed & she needed to light some special candles or something.
Honestly, I just want to know if I will ever have a boyfriend again, ever. I mean, someone I like and who likes me. You know?
meggypoo,
That, my friend, is an excellent goal.
Burreetoe,
I definitely need to do that. I am LONG overdue for a Disneyland trip. My birthday is on a Tuesday this year (Feb 24)…would you be down for a Disneyland day with me?
morton (danny),
It was pretty funny. Well, after the smell of melting flesh faded away.
matty03,
\
I like the recycle idea much better.
The Grunt,
I should have been a boy scout. Ha ha!
foundinidaho,
I love that you’ve gone from Lost in Utah to Found in Idaho! <3
tiffany,
Cheers to that!
Oh ing,
That sounds like an awful experience! My lady is local…not sure if she does phone work, but I’m going to email you the info on the shop where I used to go for tarot in Oakland…they were fucking AWESOME. You should definitely give them a try.
Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?
I really think you need to come down and see me. This place will give a big old dose of WTF.
xo
its always a good birthday when something is burning…except maybe body parts. that would be un-good.
Amy,
That’s a dose of WTF I think I could use!
dmb5_libra,
Yes, that would.
Did I miss your birthday?
Thanks for the email! I haven’t had a chance to check it out yet, but I will. . . I will. . . I must know if I will ever have a boyfriend again.
I don;t even remember my birthday this year. Does that mean I’ll be invisible?
I know I’m late for commenting…but I had to add that the polyester burn was THIRD degree. I have a scar on one hand still. It has mostly flattenned out hough…there’s only a small depression into my muscle tissue now.