Rather than detail how extremely shitty and stressful the past week has been, here is a list of things that have been making me happy. Just a few more days and this Mercury Retrograde shit will be over. THANKFUCKINGGOD.
- My grandma’s health appears to be on the mend. Her spirits are up and she’s acting like herself. They are still running tests but her doctors think her medications may have been out of whack.
- Receiving a package in the mail from my super fab BFF Stephanie! D.I. treasure galore! Woot woot!
- Crafters for Obama. Crafting for change never looked so fucking good!
- Spending time with my adoptive family and gay boyfriend. (We even tricked gay boyfriend into his second trip to D.I. AND he actually had fun!!)
- I found my Halloween costume! Never thought I’d be so excited to wear knickers (the shorts variety, not panties, folks!), but they are damn cute! And they look mighty fine with my new boots.
- Talking through some emotional bullshit with Suzanne, followed by some crafty, button-ring making fun!
- Moving my friendship with Megan to the sleepover friend level, playing tarot cards and crystals!
- Roasting marshmallows over a fire. Further proving my lifelong curse: only attracting smoke and assholes.
- Watching the “Who Pooped the Bed?” episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
- Some guy stranger from namelessdatingwebsite just sent me a message saying, “I may even be able to show you things to hold back your gag reflex.” Let’s hear it for oral sex jokes before knowing each others names!
- Britney Spears’ new song, “Womanizer.” Stop judging me!
You are so funny – we have a lot in common – I’m 32, single, a law student and unfortunately, find my dates online. I have never gotten a message like that, tho – holy shit. At least he revealed his pervyness right out of the gate instead of saving it until you were already involved. Love your site – you crack me up, girl. Have a good week!
Are you going as an orphan in a Dickens novel for Halloween?
Jen,
Thanks! Sadly, that isn’t even the worst thing I’ve heard from a guy online…there are so many to choose from, but off the top of my head I have to give perverted props to the guy who told me he was married, but his wife was OK with him screwing strangers from the internet. Then he proceeded to describe his anatomy and said he could meet me anytime of day, even in 20 minutes! Of course, I called him ASAP because I totally needed emotionless sex and STIs.
Stefanie,
An orphan from a Dickens novel sounds a lot more interesting than what it is…an Eddie Munster costume! I didn’t realize it was a character specific costume until I looked at the tag. So I guess this means I’ll be cross dressing as a little boy for Halloween. Hmm. And the knickers will guarantee freezing my ass off; guess this means I’ll have to get shit faced. Dang!
What is D.I.?
The Mormon version of Goodwill!
I know! The new Britney Spears song is awful, yet wonderful. I think it would be just as good if she was just singing jibberish instead of actual words. Especially since most of the youngster listening to that song have no clue what womanizer actually means.
Oh, right. Desert Industries. I was wondering the same thing myself.
I love music that is so bad, it’s good. However, sometimes I love music that doesn’t suck at all. Have you heard Lily Allen’s new song “I Could Say”? Can’t get enough of it!!
Missed you so much this weekend! Wish you had been here…at least you had Mr. Wiener Dog candle to keep you company
I thought I was the only one who noticed that Mercury was in retrograde…
Love your blog!
totally agreeing with you on the womanizer thing. what can I say… I’m in the denial step of my “bad music anon” group… so sue me.
Ewwww!
That was in response to the gag reflex story, of course…not you in knickers.
I had a guy respond to “Obama or McCain” last week (via email from flentyofpish) with, first “who are they” and then, “McCain he picked a hottie VP.” I’d almost rather an oral sex reference.
Glad things are better for you and Gramma Dot. I think you’ll be creepily hot as Eddie Munster!
Mmmm… marshmallows and hot chocolate. AND sleepovers. Pheobe has been missing you!
Long-time lurker, first time commenter. Hi!!!
Crafters for Obama is made of win. So is thrift store shopping. Sadly, dating websites are not. I gave up on the concept after landing dates with three registered sex offenders in a row. One of those things where you just say “Yeah, thanks but no. I’ll die alone knitting sweaters for my fifty cats. Byiiieee!!”
Finally, Britney rocks the leather corset in her new video. That is all.
it makes me happy that I made the list multiple times contributing some happiness into your shitty week. More garage talks and crafting!!
I love the new britney song too! You’ve gotta own that shit, girl!
Interestingly enough, I find my willingness to admit that I actually like some Britney Spears music to be my barometer of how true to myself I’m being.
And, I’m not too cool to admit that I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a Britney-comeback. I keep waiting for her to get back to her pre-batshit crazy days!
I feel like I am missing so much by not internet dating!
I caught the tail end of the “Poo” episode. I need to get a DVR. My dream costume for Halloween would be Sloth from the Goonies, but I wouldn’t want it to be half-assed. I need to see the horror on people’s faces when I shout, “Hey you guys!!!”
So what’s the story on holding back the gag reflex – did he tell you? I have a friend who wants to know.
Just kidding. Men on those dating sites can be soooo creepy! The word “chat” makes me cringe. . .
Thanks for bringing up Halloween costumage. I almost forgot!
Well, it was only a matter of time. Everyone is all about Britney again, somehow forgetting her shaving her dome and attacking a car with an umbrella.
I crack up with my 15 year old son every time he puts in his mix cd and “It’s Britney, bitch” comes on the next song. We love that.
Great list!