- I bombed my bio test. Boo.
- Daytrotter is an awesome website to discover new Indie music. Especially if you lost your entire iTunes library when your hard drive went boom.
- Really bummed about that stupid bio test. May reward myself for not crying about it with a milkshake.
- In internet dating news: I’m communicating with a few decent (seeming) men. Haven’t met anyone in person, nor has anyone declared their penis small. Quite an accomplishment!
- Decided to go ahead and make the trip to the bay area next weekend. Excited to see my family and friends…hopefully the rest of the week goes by smoother than it started.
- Last week I decided if Algebra were Star Wars my teacher would be a Jedi. Today I decided he’s a Sith Lord after spending 160 minutes solving twelve systems of equations. I regularly leave class with LESS knowledge than I began. FUCK.
- I mentioned in a post last week that I named an asshole in a creative writing story after an ex-boyfriend. The next assignment from my teacher requires I keep that asshole in the story and award him full custody of an infant. Which is great, because I made him a DRUG DEALER. Can’t decide if I should write him out of the story with a shooting, overdose, arrest involving drugs, an arrest involving drugs and CPS, or all of the above. You might think I’m taking a class on writing Lifetime TV mini-series…and you would be right! It’s the only class I’m acing right now. So hooray for soap operas.
- The other day I watched a guy tell a woman how beautiful she was, as he walked by. So distracted by her beauty, he didn’t pay attention to where he was walking and he walked straight into a pillar. Fucking awesome.
- I got so mad at a shitty-ass teenage driver on Saturday night when she (unsuccessfully) tried to pass me and got stuck next to me (after tailing me sofuckingclose I couldn’t even see her headlights for 10 minutes), that I yelled “You drive like a spoiled piece of shit!” When her passenger started to yell back, I told her she was a “Fucking cunt.” Which marks my official transformation into a crazy old lady who will yell at kids to get off my mother fucking lawn. And I have the T-shirt to prove it. Interesting, I was wearing it during the road rage screaming match.
- Time to go get that milkshake.
Fuck Monday
September 22nd, 2008 · 25 Comments
Categories:Assholes, I miss sleeping, I've had better mornings, Uncategorized, confession, fucking paradise, getting my learn on, if anyone needs me I'll be drinking in my closet, list
Tagged:
I love that you yelled at the them. That’s fantastic.
Off to check out Daytrotter.
I yelled at a woman who tried to cut in line at the grocery store this weekend…maybe I need one of those shirts, too. Sorry about your test…
Milkshakes do tend to make everything all better. Especially when cookies come along with them. I am sorry about the test, but happy about the online dating! Did you know I met Rob on match.com?
Sorry about your test (lame), but thumbs up on the milkshake idea. Teenagers suck and I think that they need to be reminded of this at every possible juncture.
Online dating is more fun than a pen of greased pigs. Small penises make me sad (and giggle). Here’s too non-asshole drug addict men who are well endowed.
I have totally yelled at people while driving. While we’re on the subject of crazy, I wrote a letter to the private school next door to me to let them know that it is not okay for their parents to park in my condo complex and then walk their kids to school. You know, because I would like to lower the risk of their 10 kids hopping out of their giant vans and either dinging my car with their doors or scratching my car with their backpacks. I’m right alongside of you yelling at the kids to get off our fucking lawn.
sizzle,
How did you like Daytrotter?
punchlinewalking,
I like that you yelled someone in the grocery store line. Pretty sure that makes us BFF.
Lara,
Still waiting on my milkshake…maybe in a few?!
meggypoo,
Online dating is more fun that a pen of greased pigs. FOR SURE!
Burreetoe,
Stupid kids!
thanks for the link to daytrotter, looks fantastic!
You are going to LOVE daytrotter! Maybe it will even help distract you until Tuesday??
sofuckinghiliarious!
um…i need that shirt. where did you get it?
i would also like your boobs.
thanks.
#9 makes you even more awesome to me.
I fear #8 could happen to me someday. I seriously wonder how many car accidents happen by guys checking out the hot woman in the neighboring vehicle.
Maybe you can write the ex out of the script using a 90210 plot line. How did they snub that Colin guy out? Drugs right?
#4 – Don’t you mean, a few decent, POETIC, men? Oh Pants, you made, made, made my day today. I’m still laughing!
What kind of milkshake did you get?
I am pretty sure old ladies don’t use that “C” word. Oh wait. You said CRAZY old lady. Well, I guess maybe then.
alexis,
Thanks!
crystal,
I found that shirt at a thrift store!
And if I could, I would totally loan them out.
apollocreed,
It’s just my fire-y teenager hating spirit!
egan,
It was a wonderful thing to see!
Drugs it is!
Amy,
He definitely qualifies as pretty much the best thing ever. I can’t wait to have a hundred of his babies.
stefanie,
That’s me, old lady mold-breaker!
Finally another Daytrotter fan! Daytrotter supplies my wacky musical side (and for free).
I just embarrassed myself by laughing out loud at the “man-distracted-by-beautiful-woman-walks-into-pole” story. I am in a library.
1) I sucked at Bio – and I turned out ok. 7) I suggest you make him the hero. I knew a guy actually, that was a drug dealer and had a baby… so weird that at the time, I didn’t even think of it as insane. Well now he’s divorced and should be in rehab. But he loves his kid more than anything; I know this. 9) I usually catch myself before I start doing those crabby-old-people things, but eventually we all have to give in and realize that we are the people we swore we would never be when we were young.
leftoverkumquats,
Daytrotter is the best!
ak,
That makes me feel better about bio.
Heart winning drug dealer wasn’t what I had in mind when I named him after that guy that crushed my heart. But I’ll give it some thought tonight when I’m cranking it out.
I am proud to say that I hated teenagers, even when I was a teenager.
Would you like me to burn some gasoline and bring you a “study” shake tonight? There are THREE Icebergs on the 20 minnute drive from my house to yours. Ode to the Joys of living in corn syrup’s Zion!
check out Pandora.com for new music…lovelovelove it!
I’m glad you’re going on your trip! Yay!
Is Fuck Monday sorta like Taco Tuesday?
I really like what you said to that teen driver.
There is money to be made writing Lifetime TV movies. I have a friend who wrote a couple a few years ago, and those things are still running. (One of them is the most-replayed Lifetime movie ever. Hee.)
I wish I had someone who would do number 8 for me (I hope I quoted the right number or else I sound crazy!)
I am currently making apple cider milkshakes. I wish you lived closer and could come over to have some with us!
With my help you would have received the letter grade of “A” on that bio test.