A couple of my classmates got into a lively discussion about sleeping pills before class. Here are a few highlights*.
“You take Ambien too? Pill poppers unite!”
“I have such bad insomnia that sometimes I still can’t sleep.”
“Do you hallucinate when you take it? I totally think alligators are all around me and eating my legs. And last night? I saw little fairies flying everywhere.”
“Sometimes I sleep walk and eat a bunch of food.”
There was a club at a tabling event promising happiness in dating, celestial marriage and choir. (WHO WANTS TO JOIN A CULT?!) Their ticket to lure prospective club members was Otter Pops. Are we five-years-old? OTTER POPS? I couldn’t even make this shit up.
I had to drop my fun elective to take a math class so I will be prepared to take chemistry next semester. Boo. I hate being a grown up.
On the up: my math class rules. It’s like the Fight Club of Mathematics. (I’m not even kidding.) It’s a good thing my sister warned me about my teacher. He is very into math. LIKE REALLY INTO MATH. He’s the type of person that I imagine would not only understand an algebraic joke that requires solving an equation for a humorous answer: he would also fucking love it. Though I’m pretty sure he’s never actually laughed. Or smiled. Thank god my sister did an impression of him because I would have burst into laughter and started looking around for the hidden cameras when he hiked up his pants and strutted in front of the classroom, looking hella fierce.
I’m actually a little jealous that you get to take a math class. I’m one of those people who love math.
When I was studying for the GMAT, I really enjoyed the math part. Oh yeah, and I was a Mathlete in high school — but, a super cute mathlete, you can be sure!
When I woke up this morning I remembered that today was your first day of school.
Otter Pops? That is so Utah, and I love it. Down here, they probably hand out crack.
Sometimes I really miss being a student. Savor it for me.
Otter Pops?!? Next they’ll be offering you a squeeze-it and red rope licorice.
I don’t even know what an Otter Pop is. Is that another Utah thing?
So you can take Ambien if you live in Utah? Good to know…
A very L.A. friend used to talk fondly about the high she got from mixing Ambien and cocaine in the days before she got sober. Now she just texts while driving. I think I liked it better when she was just taking chances with her OWN life.
I want a squeeze-it and a red rope licorice.
Tiffany,
I really enjoyed taking math last semester. This teacher will surely be interesting!
Amy,
The wholesome Otter Pops crew made me want break the entire word of wisdom and participate in naughty things.
Sra,
Sure thing!
morton (danny),
There’s always tomorrow. I’ll take a picture for you when they hit up the Squeeze Its.
Stefanie,
Shitty popsicles in little plastic sleeves. They’re basically sugar and food coloring. The sort of thing that only kids like. Or married students in Utah. Who also happen to be kids.
Noelle,
You can…but you probably wouldn’t if you saw what I saw. Coincidentally, I quit taking my own last week.
J.,
Holy scary! She’d fit right in here.
sdragoc,
Dude! Me too! Is it October yet?
I always say, I wasn’t on happy pills until I lived next to Happy Valley. Ya know?
I would f’ing kill various cult members for an Otter Pop. But that’s just the way I roll. Maybe I should enroll in school just so I can troll the university grounds and get free shit from all of the weirdo’s trying to “sell” stuff.
I actually had an Otter Pop at work yesterday! I haven’t had one of those for years, so it was a bit of a flash back.
Oh and I don’t think Otter Pop’s are a Utah thing, people in Utah mostly just like sugar in general (its the drug of choice here yo) and Otter Pops are like 100% sugar so its right up a mormons alley
Oh and this just came to me…I think Brigham Young passed out Otter Pops to the pioneers on the trek to Utah so maybe that has something to do with it?
One of the guys at work brought a freezer and put it in the warehouse and stocked it with Otter Pops (and leftover Carne Asada but that’s not relevant here) and he shares them. I had an orange one the other day.
Ditto Drop Dead Chris on Sugar being the drug of choice here… It’s the only one you can talk openly about because being on meds is looked down upon even though it should be a standard prescription as in “Oh you’re going to get married at 19 and pop out six kids by the time you’re 27, here’s your survival kit: A lifetime supply of happy pills and you’re totally going to need stillettos and a huge metallic purse because you can’t go to the mall with a double stroller plus a baby in a carrier without looking super hot so people will all ask ‘how does she do it?’”
lostinutah,
If I weren’t on happy pills before I lived next to happy valley I’d be in a mental health ward.
meggypoo,
Oh yes! You should totally spend thousands of dollars on school for free Otter Pops! Or, maybe you could just troll the campus for frozen treats? I’ll shoot you and an email and we can do it together.
drop dead chris,
Brigham Young def passed out Otter Pops to the pioneers after the trek to Utah…then he married all of the little girls.
rockandcookies,
I want carne asada!
I don’t even know what an Otter Pop is–should I?
I have a friend who gets up and emails when she takes Ambien. And then doesn’t remember it–until people start asking her about the weird email she sent in the middle of the night.
It’s the popsicle version of generic Kool Aid.
And I think I’ll respond to the second part in a blog post!
Dirty Soul « Pants, pants, PANTS! // Aug 21, 2008 at 10:26 am
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