Awesome Ing wrote a post about dating. You should go read it HERE.
Ing’s perspective is very familiar. I’ve have had relationships here and there. Some long, some shorter. I understand the pressure of friends and loved ones wanting me to be with someone. I can particularly relate to what she wrote about her mother. My mother also believes that not finding someone to marry and have babies with is so horrible it’s just shy of a terminal disease. She tries not to pressure me, but I can still feel it. It’s not done maliciously; she just wants me to be happy. But it’s still a lot pressure for a girl.
I would love to meet someone to share my life with; I have wondered if that will really happen for me. This is not a pity party; it’s my life. I am not under the delusion of waiting for The One because I don’t believe in The One. It is bullshit to think there is only one person for everyone. I happen to think there are many options out there for all of us. I think it’s more likely a matter of finding someone whose baggage is the right weight, so you can help each other shoulder the bullshit of life.
When I read this I almost fell out of my chair.
“…sometimes I wonder if men and women are suited for each other at all.”
Crossing my fingers that I’ll find one of my many possibilities…hoping the most valued relationship in my life is eventually not my cat; though he’s damn fucking cute.
Apparently we are on the same page of late. Thank goodness for our glorious pets. Riley sends big sloppy kisses.
For quite some time, I’ve been wondering how it is that there are so many single people looking for love, and yet very few seem to actually meet up and find it. My theory is that men are stupid. And being a single mom, well, I think that most men see that as baggage the size of Oprah’s ass.
The part that got to me was this one:
“The real problem is that some of us will never have a romantic partner, just as some of us will never win the lottery or find buried treasure or lose an eye.”
The past couple of years I’ve started to say things like “IF I ever get married…” instead of “WHEN I get married,” and some of my friends scoff and tell me not to talk like that. But the reality is not everybody DOES get married, and maybe I’m one of the ones who won’t. And maybe that’s OK. I think I’m realizing that it probably is.
I liked the line about baggage being the right weight to shoulder the bullshit. It goes pretty well with my theory about mutual tolerability.
scarlet hip,
Thanks, Jack Jack sends a kiss and raises Riley a NEOW!
meggypoo,
Oprah’s ass now or Oprah’s ass 1986? You and I need a girl date.
stefanie,
I have been dealing with the exact same feelings/realizations. It’s too bad we don’t live near each other; we would have a fantastic time drinking and dishing!
rockandcookies,
I like that, it’s all about mutual tolerability.
I think everyone’s got their mate out there, but you won’t find him/her until you stop looking. That’s always how it happens, I think.
In my opinion, which is not scientific, it’s because a lot — A LOT — of men, er, boys, are encouraged by the current culture to stay as immature as possible.
My husband bucks the trend and actually gets ridiculed occasionally for being an adult with ethics and responsibilities.
If you don’t find a husband, so be it. But it’s better than taking on the responsibility of a 6 foot tall, 200 lb. child.
I don’t know much stuff about thing you talk about. Me just dumb boy who like big breastesses;)
amen sister.
there’s always “humble greg’s” out there on match. or creepy mccreeperson who wanted to date you from blogland.
Hi, Pants! I just met you over at my place. I came by and was struck by the lines, “I happen to think there are many options out there for all of us. I think it’s more likely a matter of finding someone whose baggage is the right weight, so you can help each other shoulder the bullshit of life.” You hit me right between the eyes with that one. It sums up my perspective on dating so very consicely. Can I steal it and use it, assuming I ever sign up for e-harmony?