Mom: What’s wrong?
Me: My ovaries are trying to kill me!
Mom: Period?
Me: Yes.
Mom: Oh honey, your ovaries are just gearing up for babies.
Me: Gross!
Death by Girl Parts
May 7th, 2008 · No Comments
Categories:fresh as a daisy, frumpasaurus, fuck you mother nature
Tagged:
But would it be gross if you could get 20 weeks off work?
I was talking to my favorite work lady today about how being a girl is ridiculously stupid and that I will pick a fight with any feminist type who wants to tell me that God is a woman. (Like because if God was a woman she would have been like “Let’s make girl stuff not be super fucked up/complicated/painful” …and um also… she probably would have made men as a gender just a little bit smarter.)
Give me a period a MILLION times over being pregnant. Gah.
Actually, the first 8 months of being pregnant were far better than having a period. The last 4 and resulting c-sections, however, kind of sucked. But my boys were worth it!
4 weeks, that is. Sheesh.
20 weeks off work? Hah, like having a child is a break. Some guys have so much to fucking learn about being a parent.
Haha! That’s too funny! If my mom ever said that I would probably be sick! I am glad that she doesn’t generally discuss things like that with me or my sister.
That’s your ovaries saying, “if you think this is bad, wait until you see pregnancy!”
Oh, I’m sorry!
I think that they are just getting you ready to be doused in the magic glitter that IS Goldfrapp.
…sometimes, just before the record starts one has some internal bleeding that is all together unpleasant.
Hope you’re feeling better.
Little Bagel is glad I had her girlie parts removed. …I think. Tho, she seemed completely confused when a dog tried to mount her in the park the other day. However, I feel the same way when that happens to me — and I’ve no (and have never had) girlie parts.
hmmmmmmm….
Your ovaries are Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, aren’t they?
Question. How many freaking times do we have to be geared up for babies? I mean, what’s the maximum we can have, like… twenty? Why then, female parts, do you try to kill us Every Damn Month?
(I am so commiserating here.)