Jack Jack is so interested in everything I do; he likes me, he really likes me! I am considering submitting this group of incredibly awesome, high quality, barely pathetic self-portrait + cat series photos to an art gallery. Any title suggestions? So far I’ve come up with…
A Thirty-Something and Her Cat
Not So Lonely After All
Algebra: Not Just For Humans
My Cat is Better Than Your Human Baby
The next step is for us to have photographs taken at Olan Mills. Which, curiously, I’ve decided is my dream date! Though my dream date will be with a human, not a feline. (I hope.)
1. Begin with shopping trip to D.I. (Mormon Goodwill) for some fine-ass new clothes.
2. Rush off to a portrait sitting at Olan Mills (or comparable photo studio).
3. Walk through Temple Square holding hands and sipping from the same flask.
4. Frozen yogurt.
5. Make out in remote, picturesque, area where teenagers (or thirty-something women who move home) escape their parents.
Though I realize this would be more satisfying (and likely) with my BFF, Stephanie. Hopefully we can do this at the end of the month when I go to visit! I know her husband wouldn’t object…he likes me and he hardly likes anybody (SCORE ME!).
I think Jack Jack has been spoiling you rotten with love. Me likes that Jack Jack has taught you about the finer points in life. Good on him. Olan Mills, that’s so purrfect. Reminds me of high school silhouetted photos.
He certainly has! And when he’s not spoiling me with love and affection he’s chewing on my handbags or knocking water glasses off my nightstand. He’s my rotten little cat-tard and I love him!
What a great dream date! And cute cat!
So wait- your BFF’s husband likes you and also doesn’t mind you making out with her?
Hold up! You get to see Steph at the end of the month and make out with her? WTF?
I have a big checkup tomorrow with my oncologist, who’s a woman. I’m going to count it as a date because she feels me up all over and sticks her finger up my ass. The best part is that her assistant is another woman and watches this all go down. No, the very bestest part was the first time this was done to me way back when this all started–my mother was present.
D.I. shopping trips aren’t complete without consulting with one of the mentally unstable workers for their recommendations in fashion.
Christmas at Temple Square would be a trip while partaking of the flask.
I’m just glad to know you’re worth $1,132 in bed. I wonder how much Jack Jack is worth?
Rachel,
I know it’s a little weird…but, so am I!
Sizzle,
There was A LOT of “sister wife” joking around during the last visit. I believe the words, “When you gunna fill me with your seed?” were uttered, er, slurred.
Zanny,
One of the MANY perks from being a Utah resident. You should get on the bus, yo!
The Grunt,
I had that same visit with my ortho surgeon before my back surgery…it was rather uncomfortable because I didn’t realize it would be happening. Who am I kidding? It wouldn’t have been any more comfortable if I’d known my handsome doctor would be sticking his finger in my butt. However, it made for a FABULOUS Cinco de Mayo 2006! Woot! Woot!
sprizee,
Jack and I haven’t figured out his bed worth yet, but this will give us something to do tonight. I’m sure he’s worth two or three times more than me. He’s a total whore.
I think your dream date should be with your cat rather than a human. I’m sure your cat would be more than willing to let you take a couple hits off the old cat nip. That should lead to enough lost inhibition to result in all sorts of hijinks at Temple Square. It might even make the evening news. Who knows, maybe Carole Makita, the Religion specialist, will do an interview with you from your holding cell. The story would be titled: A girl, her cat, and the religious institution hell-bent on assuring her destruction. Now that would be an awesome date.
Here’s a title:
Pants and the Purrrfect Male
He is just so darned cute.
Pssst…
Since I am going to Minnesota to help my brother I am not going to be able to go to the swell season. Do you want my ticket????
you guys had Olan Mills too? I thought we were the only cool ones! WEll I am totally going to glamour shots for my date.
I keep trying to convince dates to go roller skating with me (so far no takers yet), but it has never occurred to me to suggest Olan Mills. That’s probably more like a fifth date thing, though, isn’t it? I don’t have a lot of fifth dates.
I’m all for you making out with some other chick.
Hey do you have an email address I can email you at. I need to ask you something.
Mine is atestnny@gmail.com
Thanks.
nice pussy, pants.
Porty,
I just told Jack Jack about your suggestion…he totally agrees. Imagine how angry the Momos will be about our feline love!
lostinutah,
Thank you for humoring my kitty cat obsession.
Loralee Choate,
Sad you won’t be able to make it…and yes I would!
lexiloo,
Glamour shots? SEXY!
Stefanie,
Olan Mills is definitely more like a fifth date. I don’t have a lot of fifth dates, either. I’ve also given up on dating…but at Porty’s suggestion I might take my cat. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.
yournamehere,
I can always depend on you for support!
Abbie,
Hope that helped!
Crystal,
Nice avatar!
Oh my god. My favorite, hands down, is “My Cat Is Cuter Than Your Human Baby”. Awesome.
That’s my cat! Kickin’ human baby ass everywhere!
Not only have we already done the Olan Mills portrait sitting and a stroll through Temple Grounds(Although it was 1992),but I will totally take you to DI and buy you frozen yogurt,and whatever else you want!!
PS Jay may like you,may like having a sister wife to help with the dishes,but he is remarkably possessive,(Which you would never expect from such a happy,grovin’ guy) so I think the making out might be out.I won’t tell if you won’t tell though.