- Why am I receiving advertisements about my cat’s health?
- How do they even know I own a cat?
- Are they spying on me at home?
- If so, have they seen the all-you-can-eat cat food buffet that my parents have implemented?
- Was this email prompted by concern for his kitty BMI after they saw how his belly jiggles when he moves (or breathes)?
- Have they assumed that since I am thirty-two and single that I’ve started amassing my army of cats?
- How many cats to I have to own before they personalize this character with my face?
They are SPYING on ALL of us!
Aaaaack!
My wonderment is this: why do they even bother comparing cat years to human years? As if saying “you cat is 70 in human years!” even tells you anything about your cat’s health. I don’t know about you, but I’ve known some very spry 70+ years olds, and I’ve known some who look like they could kick off at any moment. I guess I understand the need to put things in terms you can understand, like comparing Fahrenheit and Celsius. I’m useless with Celsius, so it helps to know the conversion. But we all know that cats live generally between 16-24 years, so when your cat is in that range, duh, you know it’s old. But just like all the spry 70 year old humans, you can’t really judge a cat’s health by its age.
I signed us all up for weekly cat newsletters because it’s important for me to not be the only single crazy cat lady around here.
OK, so I didn’t actually sign you up for this, but it’s good to know someone’s watching out for you.
Sizzle,
Studying privacy (in school) right now doesn’t help my paranoia!
Sra,
I was also wondering about the cat years/people years. I knew this guy when I worked at a cafe who came in everyday…he was spry as all get out. Totally freaked out when I found out he was 80 years old!
jenny,
I need to put aside some time and take a video of my little tub of lard playing and running so you can see how much ahead of the game your kitties already are.
Seriously, his belly moves some kind of crazy…sadly, it’s gotten better but it’s still horrifying.
Jack Jack’s been online. Siamese are evil. He’s probably looking at porn.
I have yet to receive anything for my shih-tzu.
hmmmmm…
Well, I suspect you will need to have upwards of at least 26 cats before it is personalized.
…27 probably gets you arrested and posted in the offices of PETA.
Pants, don’t worry. You’ll never ever become a cat lady. Besides, no cat lady could compare in scariness to the “Gerbil Man”. *shudder*
This made me think of two things:
a.) The crazy cat lady on The Simpsons who not only owns a gazillion cats but throws them at people.
b.) The people who made the Crazy Cat Lady action figure could probably make a few changes and make a Molly Mormon figure.