Warning: If you have problems with what my father calls “water closet talk,” please skip this post.
My OCD trouble began when I was traumatized at my first post-high school job. I worked in a small office (just two of us). My male boss and I shared a bathroom. Can you tell where this is going?
I didn’t have trouble with fecal related issues before discovering a very large, very hairy turd that my boss left in the toilet. The most horrific part; there was no toilet paper. NO TOILET PAPER! Who does that?! I mean, leaving a gigantic piece of shit in a toilet is hands-down disgusting, but not even taking the time to wipe your own ass? WHO DOES THAT?! That is some serious filthiness to not bother wiping your own butthole.
From there my mental state deteriorated when I realized that someone who couldn’t be bothered to wipe their own butthole would surely not be caught up with pesky habits like hand washing. I fell apart when I looked around the cramped, overstuffed office and realized that everything around me was surely contaminated with filthy no-butthole-wiping-no-hand-washing fecal matter.
Normally I’m careful to click away when people start with the poo-post warning. Why didn’t I listen this time???
;^)
Daycare has been an adventure. I’m guessing OCD parents don’t put their kids in daycare because it’s a germ fest I tell you. I’m sure you already know this though.
Hairy poop? I’m picturing something in my head that must go away stat.
My god, the google searches that will be coming your way.
Say it isn’t so?!
I just threw up in my mouth.
GAH.
I don’t feel so good.
I have a nasty picture in my head. Yuck! I know you warned me, and next time I will heed that warning for sure!
Did you ever have doughnuts at work? If so, you know he fingered every damn one of them.
Love ya.
Sorry to bust in on your blog, but that was as sick as it was hilarious.
I read a story a while ago about a young married couple in church. The couple sat in the pew directly in front of the story teller.
During the meeting, the woman would scan the man’s hair with her fingernails, looking for the infected hair that needed to be lanced and drained.
Once found, the woman would perform the procedure with exactness and then in a final gesture of fantastic taste, she would – you guessed it – smell her fingers!
Well but see if he didn’t wipe, then his HANDS are probably squeaky clean! KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe the poop was so big & hairy that it didn’t go down when he flushed & the toilet paper did.
Or maybe his poop floated back up and maybe
maybe
maybe
Ok, maybe it was just gross.
Egan – Daycare/preschool is a TOTAL germ fest!
Those types of people want you to see their poo. That’s why they don’t flush or wipe. It’s a freaking trophy dump to them. I wrote a post a long time ago on this phenomenon called The Ghost of Abraham Lincoln”.
Blech. You should market that story to dieters. I have no desire to eat ANYTHING right now.
I would like to propose another explanation: He flushed and the paper went down, but the poop stayed behind.
Is that any better?
Did you keep a bowl of grapes on his desk, too?
C. L. Hanson,
Sorry!
egan,
Oddly enough, I worked in daycare (and then nannied) shortly after working in the office. Daycare is a germ fest but it wasn’t (mentally) so bad, maybe because we bathed everything in bleach? I was also sicker than I’ve ever been in my entire life while working in daycare. You’re supposed to gain immunity and get sick less when you’re around all the germs…but I got more sick. Ugh.
Ha ha, when I read your comment I thought it said, “that must go away skat.” Haha, gross.
electric boogaloo,
I figure it doesn’t get much worse that what’s already here. A few jewels from today:
“Michael Bolton cock”
“BYU nude”
“calories in poo”
“genitals hairdo”
Sizzle,
Sorry! I just re-read it and I threw up in my mouth a little too. Yecht.
Scarlet Hip,
Yuppers.
radioactive girl,
I joke a lot but not about bathroom talk warnings!
yournamehere,
That’s awesome.
neffgang,
Ugh! The finger smellers are THE WORST! I have a story about that but too much dignity to share.
Jill/Twipply Skwood,
I like the way you think.
The Grunt,
They want you to see their poo? I will have to check your ilnk!
Curly Glamour Girlie,
It worked for me, I barely ate a thing yesterday.
srah,
I hadn’t thought about it being so monstrous the toilet couldn’t handle it. Hmmm.
Übermilf,
Who needs a bowl of grapes when you don’t wash your hands? Everything he touched was contaminated!