I’ve decided to revive the ol’ Fully Klothed Thursday. Why? Because it’s fucking rad, that’s why. Plus I get to show off my mad snow shoveling skillz.
This lovely photo was taken a few weeks back. I stopped shoveling the driveway to give my mother a big thumbs down. I was less than happy that morning when I awoke to two feet of snow and didn’t start shoveling until I had thrown a proper tantrum. That shovel in the bottom left hand corner is my dad helping me clear the driveway, no doubt, because he was fearful I’d say something highly inappropriate in front of a neighbor on the sabbath. (Which I did – I don’t think they appreciated “fuck me Jesus” nearly as much as I did.)
Clothing count on my bad ass: 1. polar fleece cap 2. sunglasses 3. iPod (yes it counts, keeps my ears warm) 4. gloves 5. tank top 6. t-shirt 7. sweatshirt 8. sweat pants 9. pajama pants (yes, it was THAT cold) 10. Smart Wool socks (they’re the best, AROUND!) 11. boots 12. pants(!) 13. sports bra numero uno 14. sports bra numero dos.
This week the weather has been much nicer. Today it reached a whopping forty-six degrees. I was so excited I wore jeans with a tank and spring shoes. I fear that being comfortable in such a small amount of clothing at that temperature makes me a full fledged Utahn. Fuck.
Hey, isn’t shoveling work? Like “gathering sticks” or whatever the hell you’re not supposed to do on the Sabbath? Is there a loophole if you have to shovel to get to church?
Pants, if you’re a full-fledged Utah by getting excited about it being 46 degrees, so am I. And it ain’t happenin’.
We’re safe, it’s just been a long fricking winter. ‘Nuff said.
Utahn, I should say. Or Utard (that term is from the natives I work with, so I’m not making fun all by myself).
Reesh.
Pant, that’s funny. When I was a Utahrd (I guess I still am), I would wear shorts once the weather hit 50.
Today, we are in the midst of a cold front in Miami. When I left home this morning it was a chilly 56. This was reason enought to pull out the coat, hat and scarf. I am glove free, only because I couldn’t find them.
I was happy when the temperature reached the 20′s.
What does that say about me?
When will this winter end???? I am so tired of snow…we are getting more tonight!
14 items of clothing? I’m very impressed. What Playlist did you listen to while shoveling snow? If it’s anything other than Milli Vanilli or Jamie Walters, I don’t want to hear about it.
Two sports bras? That’s all I can remember, sorry.
Nice pic.
Having gone through the process of losing my hair and being anemic, due to cancer treatments, I was a big winter pussy this year. I’m growing hair now, and I feel like a damned Chia Pet.
I am so sick of this weather. Seriously.
The polar fleece cap is particularly stylin’.
My friend moved from SLC to NYC to work for a publishing firm and wore a polar fleece vest the first day. Between that and discovering that he had been camping and “Slept outside” in his life, he was forever dubbed “John Denver”.
Heh.
lostinutah,
Not safe, totally Utahrded!
Sofi,
I dream of Miami!
Übermilf,
That says you live in Chicago. Or that you’re menopausal.
radioactive girl,
The sun is actually shining today. Granted, it’s all f’ing smoggy and nasty but there’s REAL live sunshine! I’m even wearing sandally shoes!
egan,
The embarrassingly bad playlist, of course! Always Milli Vanilli, need to get me some Jamie Walters…he used to bang Donna, right?
yournamehere,
You’re welcome.
The Grunt,
I can’t even begin to imagine how cold it must have been for you this winter!
Loralee Choate,
Shortly after this picture was taken I realized I desperately need to invest in something to keep my head warm that’s not completely idiotic. My mother knitted two pointed caps for me as a birthday present. Not sure if they help or make it worse but they’re cute and damn elf-like.
omg.
praise be to god that i live in motherfucking texas.
I can’t stop giggling at the “fuck me Jesus” line. Good stuff.
And 2 sports bras? Really? Ouch.
Crystal,
I can’t fucking get warm weather off my mind. I’d do nearly anything for a trip to a warm, white sandy beach.
Sicilian Mama,
Yup. I am locked and mother-effing loaded!
just today, i was perusing my old blogs (i used to be much more prolific. also, interesting) and came across Half Nekkid (whateverdayitwas).
Eee…there’s some cold ass days around here, I can’t wait to play FKT!
what am i chopped liver? i need acknowledgment. It’s a sickness.
Whoopsie poo, sorry! This is what happens when you get three hours of sleep. And YES, it most definitely is a sickness. Oddly enough, they did cancel church that morning. There was two feet of snow and none of the roads had been cleared in the neighborhood and no one could get up the hill to the church. i wish I’d been so lucky back when I was forced to participate in the cult, er, church.
Ginonymous,
Can’t wait to see all klothed up!
In my family, we’d have been forced to watch TV church. Lucky for the mormon kids, there’s BYU TV.
If I were younger they might have forced me to watch BYU TV. Lucky for me I’m 32 and I dug my way out of the driveway for boozy brunch!
You bet he banged Donna. He did her on the floor, in the shower, even while playing Scrabble online.
Can’t imagine why they wouldn’t appreciate that…I mean it’s all kinds of funny!