Pants, pants, PANTS!

Bowling alley bathrooms are frightening. I do not understand what sort of “performance” would break a toilet seat.

I do not advise attempting homework after drinking Budlight.

However, eating a giant rice krispy treat is advisable. But not if you’re going to eat an entire pizza, half of a pie, countless Fun Size Almond Joys or sip a large Sprite through a handful of Sour Punch Straws that you devour once they’ve turned into a gooey mess.

Finding websites for your friends to turn into dating whores is fun.

I couldn’t decide if this evil eye was protecting or harming occupants of the small coffee shop bathroom.

Cute little temple stickers are awesome prizes for piñatas. I strongly suggest wearing one on your cardigan sweater before going into the state owned liquor and freaking out when you see your favorite beer.

My friend’s mom called her privates her Secret Treasures.

I couldn’t get that damn “Secret Lovers” song out of my mind, only the lyrics were about Secret Treasures.

I still can’t decide which is worse: booze hangover or food hangover. I guess I’ll have to drink too much soon for proper comparison. If I play my cards right I can probably blame a boozy hangover on Aaron. Since he made me eat all sorts of food for him, I’m sure he’d find plenty of high calorie cocktails for me to consume for him too. You know, cause that’s what friends are for and shit.

I knew I was with the right bunch when I got reprimanded for making people’s faces and tummies hurt from excessive laughter.