Utah has seen more snow this year than the past ten winters. My dad decided that the universe was so thrown off by my move to Zion that my presence has solved the drought. I suppose this means my work here is nearly done? What drought ridden area should I hit next?
I don’t normally watch the local news because it’s depressing and dumb. Case in point: the weather report. I accidentally found myself reading the subtitles at the gym while Law & Order was on a commercial break. “The air is considered unhealthy.” Bleah! As if I couldn’t gauge the air quality from barfing up a lung this morning on my way to work. Living here has probably undone any positive health benefits I’ve reaped during the year since I quit smoking cigarettes. So I’m considering starting up again.
This week’s weather forecast shows 40s, mostly clear, lung busting air quality shit, with snow on Sunday, my birthday. The weather reporter’s exact words were “organized storm.” I have something he can organize; MY VAGINA. It’d be awesome not to have to shovel the fucking driveway before Sunday brunch.
Oh jeez, you’re experiencing your first inversion. Coughing up lung burger all day is something I don’t miss.
Can I let my mom know that you’re responsible for the weather? She’s been blaming it on me, since it started during my last visit.
I laugh when people think I come from a place with “clean mountain air”. The inversion can do messed up things to you, not just your lungs, your state of mind. Throw that log on the bonfire of Utah’s growing suicide problem. At least the Wasatch Front is miles better than living in Southern Idaho. That should be considered for a license plate slogan.
“my vagina”
ha!
interesting visual.
jk.
Sofi,
Inversions are filthy, filthy whores.
Tell your mom I’m responsible for the weather. Does this mean I get to hit her basement, supermarket sweep style?
The Grunt,
Who do we talk to about license plate slogans?
Sizzle,
I know it does not make sense but it just felt right.
I think my head was in the same place as Sizzle’s. Umm, that comment sounds a bit wrong. I’m going to leave it at that though. Fucking snow and inversion.
I can’t help it.
If by Southern Idaho, Grunt, you meant Boise, I totally disagree. The air here is far worse.
Can’t decide if I’d rather breathe or shovel snow. Argh.
You totally made me laugh out loud and then made my kids run over the the computer to see what I was laughing about. Nothing to see here kids…move along. I told them I was laughing at a monkey…I have no idea why that was the first thing I thought of to tell them. You made my day happier with your funnyness though.
I’d like to volunteer to organize your vagina.
Come on, I just said what a lot of other people were thinking.
You so funny, lady!
…dying over that vaginal organization invitation you extended to the weatherman…
Don’t ya just love seeing that brown haze hesitating above the city, like the uninvited guest it is? What I’d like to know is why haven’t they invented some sorta giant fan to blow it away? …what? Stupid idea…? Ok, fine.
Also, the library DOES rock–it’s more than jut a library, it’s like a museum and a coffee shop and…stuff.
Huh.
The thing that irritates/amuses me about the news is how often they have typos. There’s this one typo that they never fix, and it surprises me every time, and I don’t know why it is still surprising me: ENVIRONMENTAL. It is spelled with an “N”, guys.
Inversion? Is this some sort of vagina problem? I’m confused.