Last night I went to a singles event with Sarah. I shaved my legs and Sarah washed her hair…for absolutely nothing.
I thought the highlight of our evening was eating Mexi-Fries® (tater tots) in the food court, until I stopped at the gas station on my way home.
While standing at the cash register, a man ran to the back of the store so fast he must have had a fire in his pants. The cashier hollered to him that there were no public restrooms. Fire pants guy grumpily asked where there was a nearby public restroom.
As I was pumping gas, fire pants guy picked up on me. Turns out I didn’t wash my legs for nothing. Kidding! Sarah thanked me for not hooking up with mister fire pants guy, as did my healthy vagina.
If you plan to join winter hibernation at my house you need a healthy vagina. And a plate of baked goods.
Even the lazy have rules.
Nice. Think of the possibilities had you taken him home to light up YOUR bathroom.
heh.
Sarahbellum,
I have to have a healthy vagina to participate in winter hibernation? Are you sure we’ll just be hibernating? Will there be D.P.?
girlsnap,
I have a feeling those possibilities would have ended with a lot of cleaning projects.
I love that Tater Tots are considered ethnic food in Utah.
Fire Pants!
Hahaha!! Fire Pants Guy!
Can I say that you would be an awesome addition to our lunchtable with your kick ass nickname abilities. And that, my friend, is definitely a compliment.
Sorry about your cobwebby vagina, btw.
Did you hear? I’m SINGLE! So, like, I will most definitely be meeting you for drinks soon. Uh…that was in no way a pickup line. I promise. It’s just that I’m as free as a bird, but with far less need to poo on cars, and I’m excited to be in charge of my social life!
Woot!
You could have experienced a Brown Baltimore.
Around here we call fire pants “lava butt”. It’s always good to expand your vocabulary!