A few weeks ago I went out for drinks with some friends visiting from Utah. As they were driving me back to B.A.R.T. some of the drunk girls started singing (yelling) Primary (Mormon Sunday School) songs.
It was totally disturbing.
Now Mormon propaganda songs from my childhood have been trickling back like a bad acid flashback. Please listen to this, share my pain.
I’m torn between being scared and laughing hysterically!!
These songs are forever cemented into my brain. Last week, a song that I managed to block out for at least a decade or two, suddenly popped into my head. Some bullshit about two little hands, folded snuggly and tight. Not knowing what to do with this suddenly, unblocked memory, I called my ex and sang it into his voice mail. Now, he can’t get it out of his head.
Primary fucked me up.
Almost as good as running into my old Bishop at a bar (back in Maine), both of us tipsy. Or another time, a guy my age, also from church, shouting to me about his roommate’s assholery, “Don’t worry about Shawn–he’s just an ass! He said you suck a damn fine pole, though!” er. um…There’s no room for a “thanks” in the response to THAT, rest assured.
After listening to this a few too many times today I figure two more times and I’ll need a straight-jacket.
Lucky for me I don’t live in an area where I once attended church so it’s been about 5 yrs since I’ve run into anyone. I saw my high school bishop at a wedding, after addressing me as “Sister (insert last name here)” he asked if I was married, then proceeded to CONSOLE me when he found out I was single. If only they served liquid courage at Mormon weddings, I might have told him I was too busy sucking dick to settle down.
I’m not sure what mad me more nervous from your story — the songs or a bunch of drunk Mormon girls on BART.
Now, now Sister Honey Pants, there’s no need for language like that. Let’s just step into my office…
Hahahaha, nice. Those songs are SCARY. Have you seen the South Park episode about Mormons?
JJ, Only if you promise to give me a spankin’.
I can be a Mormon too! Like Catholocism didn’t eff me up enough.
Love the South Park Mormon episode, I about fell off the couch when I heard them sing:
Many people believed Joseph
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
And that night he-ee saw an angel
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Yes, well, ahem, you have been a very bad girl.