Pants, pants, PANTS!

Highlights from a Budweiser BE, B-to-the-E, promo night

• Not the sickeningly sweet medicinal tasting B-to-the-E caffeine laced mystery beverage

• Claw Vending Machine in bar stocked full of stuffed animals, mini basketballs and anal porn dvd’s

• Hearing a crowd of guys chant “ANAL, ANAL, ANAL!” while pumping quarters into the Claw Vending Machine

• Having a souvenir Polaroid taken with the Budweiser Girls

• Friend #1’s husband winning “Deep Anal” porno from the Claw Vending Machine

• Friend #2’s husband winning two mini basketballs from of the Claw Vending Machine

• Karaoke’ing “Look At Me I’m Sandra Dee”

• Stuffing Friend #2’s husbands’ mini basketballs into my sweater with pieces of torn coaster for realistic nipple effect

• Confused, drunk, bar patron does not realize my enormous boobs are actually mini basketballs and offers to take me to the Holiday Inn

• Rowdy drunk gets 86′d, owner and bartender chase him out with a baseball bat and the biggest fucking knife I’ve ever seen