Pants, pants, PANTS!

While visiting my parents when I was 24 we had lunch with some old family friends. Family friends who I LOVE. We spent a lot of time with them as children. We were much closer with them then our own blood relatives. Still, they are Mormon so (culturally speaking) things are sometimes weird.

We all met up for lunch at a restaurant I like to visit when I stay with my family…I think the reason I like it so much is it reminds me of Disneyland. The line to order your food is sectioned off like the line for the Jungle Cruise ride. Everything is bright and colorful, very plastic and artificial happy. Besides that, Mexican food is difficult inland…after moving to Utah my parents ate at a restaurant called “Guadalahonky’s.” My mother acted so surprised when she got wicked diarrhea after eating there. What do you expect from a restaurant whose billboards say “Get your gas at Guad’s.” Ew, dude, ew…

Anyways, out to lunch with old family friends when their dad says:

Hey what’s with all the Pants old maids? Melliferous are you ever gonna get married?

I reply:

No, no boyfriend for now. But I do have some exciting news for everyone. I’M PREGNANT AND I DON’T KNOW WHO THE FATHER IS!

So I wasn’t really pregant but come on now, what a retarded question. It was the year 2000, in most cultures an unmarried 24 year old woman is a good thing. Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.